doodling thoughts...

Get your vocabulary right..

2011-10-06T01:30:00.001+05:30

"Netaon ne yeh kaha, Netaon ne woh kaha...Neta corrupt hain, Neta ghooskhor hain.."

They all are politicians damn it, not all are leaders!

Rajneetigya bolo, neta nahin!

Key to success..

2011-10-06T01:26:00.001+05:30

I have been enjoying my vacation last two weeks and watched some episodes of KBC (Indian version of Who wants to be a millionaire). As I watched many contestants from various parts of the country sit on the hot seat and play KBC with the legend, Amitabh Bachan, I got a valuable piece of learning -

Successful people are articulate.

Hearing about their backgrounds as they won the fastest finger first and then watching them converse with the host, I could see a high degree of correlation between the articulation of the contestants and their degree of success, success being measured by social and/or financial indicators. On the top right of this graph was the graceful host himself.

Of course, there are exceptions, as in sports. But you and I got the point, right?

Be poor, be rich, just don't be middle class...

2011-10-06T00:56:00.005+05:30

The day before, Mom and I were returning home from Delhi and because of a traffic jam on our regular route, we had to make a detour through a lesser known village. After a long time, I saw groups of people sitting on Charpaais, enjoying desi hukka, and chatting happily. Everything was simple and it struck me how happy they seemed to be.

I couldn't help thinking -

There are the Poor and mostly uneducated...they don't know much about possibilities and they are happy..
Then there are the Rich and mostly educated...they know everything, they can buy everything and they are happy..
Then there is the Middle class...they are mostly educated, they know most things, they know the possibilities but they can afford little of these..they have learned to aspire and they spend most of their life in aspiration - aspiring for a sofa, aspiring for a car, aspiring for an aeroplane journey, aspiring to make their children 'rich'...they are the worst placed of all!

Moral of the story - Be poor, be rich, just don't be middle class!

A letter to Google..

2011-08-15T09:46:00.002+05:30

Dear Google,

Hope you are innovating well.

A few days ago, I checked your new launch Google Plus. It looks so much like facebook. The profile pic is at the same location, friend suggestions show up at the same location, wall looks similar, '+1' is just another name for 'like', comments work the same way, and most other things are similar. Okay, they say hangout is cool and may be a couple more features.

The reason I thought to write this is because all along I have respected you for how you have changed our lives and I am baffled if you don't understand some basics here. First of all, its okay if you lose the opportunity in one of the many areas. You don't have to win everywhere. Second, they teach in business school that when you can't win the game, change the game. Especially in games with strong network effects! With all your technology horsepower, what we expected from you is not a cheap imitation but a completely innovative alternative to the facebook style. How long do you think it will take facebook to imitate 'hangout' if it clicks with people!

Look at twitter. Is this kind of game changer too innovative for all your thinktank? And I expect 'no' for an answer here from you. That ability to innovate is certainly not a problem with you, it's something else you need to fix. May be direction but don't ask me, I am an outsider.

Some people tell me you gathered x million users the fastest. I wouldn't be surprised. You are so respected that people want to try when you come up with something new, anything new! But this kind of imitation puts you at the risk of losing this respect specially as a few more exciting facebook and twitter like alternatives come up. By the way, the right metric to measure popularity wouldn't be the number of users for you (for the reason I stated above), it would probably be the number of users who log on specifically to Google plus at least once a day for a period of x days, given the nature of social networking - an average user logs on to facebook multiple times a day.

Long story short, may be you should relate the cliche With great power, comes great responsibility to what you are doing here.

Best wishes

Heard somewhere..

2011-08-14T12:03:00.002+05:30

ये मत सोचो कि कितने लम्हे हैं ज़िन्दगी में...

ये सोचो कि कितनी ज़िन्दगी है हर लम्हे में!

Don't count the moments in life...
Count the lives in every moment!

Inspiring quote

2011-05-01T18:22:00.002+05:30

Some is not a number, soon is not a date..

..be specific.

Being consultant..

2011-04-21T23:25:00.009+05:30

There are three types of days in a consultant's life:

When client is working and the Firm is working - Consultant works
When client is not working but the Firm is working - Consultant works
When the Firm is not working but client is working - Consultant works

Comp(ensatory) offs?!! What are they?

But life is lousy for a consultant, I tell ya! Why? Here is how a friend put it:

You work very odd hours.
You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
People ask you what you do and you can't explain it.
It's difficult to have a family.

I agreed till I 'stepped back' and realized that he had just made me look like a prostitute!

But then sample my own experience when my girlfriend went to tell her mom about me:

Her mom didn't recognize my B school's name (IIM is known to every infant in India but ISB is not)
She had never heard my Firm's name (my firm doesn't brand/advertise itself)
She didn't understand even my profession (my girlfriend was also not very sure how to explain. Poor girl just believed me when I told her that I also do something respectable)
She was convinced that I do something shady when she heard that despite being from an unknown college, working with an 'obscure' firm, in an unheard profession, I earn well.

Only three letters do justice to my feelings...

...WTF!

Shifting loyalties..

2011-04-21T23:18:00.003+05:30

I love writing blog but lately it went down on my priority list. A couple of days ago I saw a note on my blackberry that I had written on a flight in Jan this year. So I thought to revive my blog with this. Here it goes -

Enough! I have decided. Now on, I am going to take jet airways only. Their airhostesses are so much prettier than Kingfisher's! And the jet airhostesses said hi also to me, all of them.

I feel bad for having lost 37 opportunities to spend time with them over the last 6 months. Those kingfisher airhostesses would say hi to everybody ahead of me but when I come, they would start looking at the passenger behind me as if I wasn't there!

That apart, I admire NG's eye for beauty more than VM's who claims that he personally recruits his crew. But NG doesn't make any such claims anyway. It must be some obscure aspiring senior manager who is enjoying making offers (job offers I mean) to all those beauties who would otherwise not even notice him in the bar.

So, tomorrow's flight to Hyderabad is a jet now. And the day after's to Mumbai too. This reminds me, my imminent hyderabad trip is giving headaches to my girlfriend these days. I am going to ISB to take mock interviews of people shortlisted by the firm but she thinks I will get laid by some chick there who really wants an offer (job offer I mean). Though I secretly suspect she is convinced that my looks are not going to do wonders for me but still she is somewhat insecure because of the cult status of my firm which I have made her believe creates a bright halo around my head that blinds all ISB students. I have tried explaining to her that these are only mock interviews (as if the ladies would seek appointments to sleep with me if I were taking real interviews) and even showed her my packed mock interview schedule but she still believes girls would find a way to nab me. She doesn't know that kingfisher's airhostesses don't even acknowledge my presence. But as this rationale is based on my looks, which, I suspect, she discounts anyway, it wouldn't convince her. So I wouldn't mention it to her.

Why inflict humiliation on the self!

I have an MBA…

2010-05-03T23:29:00.003+05:30

…‘Maa, Babuji ka Aashirwaad’

Alright alright, I call them mummy and papa, but seriously, this one goes to them.

Had it not been for you guys, I would not have got an A in half my courses at ISB with all that attendance criterion. Almost every term classes started at 8 in the morning and with all those assignments, parties, studies, and chats running till almost 4 am every night, had you guys not woken me up every morning, I would have missed many of even my 10 am classes, leave aside the 8 am ones.

I suspect that sometimes you yourself had to wake up half an hour early to wake me up at whatever time I wanted and no matter how much I asked you about your plans, you wouldn’t say anything until you knew what time I wanted woken up. I did try to ask you for as late as possible but I know sometimes I still disrupted your schedule. No amount of gratitude is enough for you, but still, a big thanks to you…

…you guys rock :)

So bored I am..

2010-05-02T00:19:00.003+05:30

Whatever creativity I had seems to have died. These days when I am royally bored, at times I think I should write something but then find myself devoid of any new ideas to write on.

My joining is still about 2 months away. I think I should read the book on Macroeconomics that I liked a lot during Term 2 last year but didn’t get time for at that time. Yeah, may be I’ll start that from tomorrow. And some good course pack articles too that I couldn’t finish for paucity of time last year.

Meanwhile I have also joined a gym at home. It’s a new one and perhaps one of the best in town, not comparable to the famous chains though but still. I plan to refine my cuts even more and eliminate the existing weak points in my body in these 2 months. Then with my job, if I can even do it twice or thrice a week, that should be sufficient to maintain my physique.

People tell me to enjoy the free time I have because once I join job, I would hardly be free. That’s alright but I have become workaholic now. Who wants free time!

Some close ones have also asked me how I’ll manage with so much work and no personal time. Well, first of all, I am not sure if I really wouldn’t have any personal time. I doubt if so many people are sustaining themselves for so many years in that career without any personal time. But then if they really are, I anyways don’t have a life! So shouldn’t be a problem for me either! What say?

Here are a couple of pictures of mine from the graduation day on 3rd April 2010…

This was one of the most beautiful days of my life so far, full of a sense of achievement and a sense of a meaningful self with the realization that in just one year this place has completely changed my life forever.

An year that was...

2010-03-29T17:43:00.005+05:30

Yesterday would go down as a special day in my books. I finished my MBA and with that my education. Don't plan to study formally anymore.

Throughout the day today the campus was subdued. Euphoria was not felt in the air. People are all grown ups. But then we have our batch level events every night this week. Just four more days on ISB campus and then we are alums.

On my first visit to ISB as an alum, I am coming for the orientation week for the next class just after 5 days of leaving here. Have some time to kill before I join McKinsey anyway.

For now, looking forward to the graduation day. The year has been quite full of ups for me.

Bored...

2010-02-14T19:32:00.005+05:30

Huh...I have a headache man! I slept at 5.30 in the morning and woke up at 7 in the evening. In between I sleepwalked two times from my room to Goel dining hall in full clothes to keep my system running. And now I have a long night ahead. Perhaps three more movies, what else!

I have started hating free days now and to top this nonexistence of any deadlines, this bloody term break makes the campus ghostly. This time at least 100 ISB grads are in Goa. Don't know how everybody decided to go to the same place! I am going too tomorrow..for the first time to Goa. Didn't go with my engineering college trip in 2003. We considered Andamans and Lakshyadeep too but the expenses deterred us. We are still on student budget for a few more months!

Term 6 GPA distribution came this evening. Looks like if I persist this last mile now, I am going to be in the Dean's list too. Don't know how I managed a marksheet without a 'B' all these terms. I didn't want to slog here. This bloody Garora told me to slog, damn him! All his fault, I am not going on a date this valentines day too. When did I join IIT? 2001, yeah. So, from Feb-2002 to Feb-2010, it's been 9 years since I have been thinking every 14th Feb that next time I am going on a date dude! But I somehow always manage to chase girls away. So here this one goes too with me spending my evening in the Gym. May be next time...

..for now, I got to go to Gym dude. So long..

Better hurry up dude or else..

2010-01-29T22:17:00.012+05:30

Yeah, they want me to get married. Today my mom was asking me to make my biodata. They are convinced that I can't help myself. But fighter as I am, I am determined not to accept defeat in this sphere too. Though lately MBA has made my thought process more structured and practical. I draw 2x2 for every major decision now. So my 2x2 here shows an alarming mismatch between my pick up skills and those needed in practice. Sadly, there are no reliable vocational courses for this skill set. All this has begun to concern me lately. I often think though that if there were an entrance exam for this, I would be dating a Miss World by now. Garora agreed with me here once when I discussed this thought with him. Anyway, I told my mom to use for biodata the same resume as I used for McKinsey. Innocently enough my dad argued "But a biodata would also need to have the details of your family!" That cracked me up. I assured him that I would modify it a bit to include the details of my family. Would need to cut some current stuff from that though to still manage it within one page. But I hope I can defer it for now.

Then today the advertising whiz of our school asked me to accompany him to the Hypercity mall. His idea was to do some social experiment with chicks there, in fact all this was his euphemism for asking girls out at random to see what works. Diversity at its best. The way he talks, none of us thinks that he ever had any difficulty picking up chicks. Anyways, I am completely free these days, so I agreed to take a lesson or two. He asked me not to share this with anyone though. His rationale - such kind of conversations do not suit B school students. I got a new insight in social behavior and promised him that the word wouldn't go out. So, I can't share with you guys what followed in the hypercity mall. But we had a good day if that gives you some hint.

I still have 2 months to go in Hyderabad. Let's see if I can use some of the learnings...do let me know if any of you have some tips for me though.

Life...the McKinsey way..

2010-01-19T17:52:00.005+05:30

"Congrats guys...welcome to McKinsey..."

..said the director of the revered firm. It was all music to our ears and the beginning of a new career for us. When I came to ISB, I didn't even imagine I would be shortlisted by McKinsey. ISB changed me in 8 months to the extent that I was ultimately able to beg the coveted consulting offer.

Somehow even though it was a big day for me, it didn't feel any different after this offer. The first job after IIT had felt big but this one didn't even though this was way bigger than that one. Perhaps because the first job means special in a different way - you become independent for the first time. I haven't started feeling any difference even after 3 days of getting the offer. Sitting in class, I still feel I have to prepare for placements even though I am out of the placement process now.

I am waiting to see when I start feeling like a consultant..

Wuthering Heights...

2010-01-02T23:02:00.006+05:30

The day is inching closer. The campus is beginning to freak out. Groups of students ranging anywhere from 2 to 4 can be seen sitting at various places, library group rooms, CEE meeting rooms, atrium, cafe, even walking on roads, doing case preps. Some have only one option; one such good friend of mine says he can get either only the First prize or a certificate of participation, there is no second prize for him. Some have more than one; its a bit relaxed for them, but is it? All are correlated - you do not do well in any one means something fundamental is wrong with you and is likely to show up in all others too. So, having more than one options doesn't really mean any relaxation.

I am one such guy - I have 5 options for the moment and I am the most freaked out. In the end, its only one day. I'll probably not even get a chance to sit with all. I'll perhaps have to make my choices and decline to some upfront. And then don't know how those I indeed choose to sit with would find me.

Though most of us can handle this but still we are fully aware of the recent increase in temperature in the month of January and the recent increase in pressure on the top of Deccan plateau at a height of 1776 ft above sea level.

Booze will flow at the end of the day - for some in celebration and for some in pain. Who will lie where, only the day will tell.

Miles to go before I sleep..

2009-12-20T21:30:00.005+05:30

Huh...did I say life is fun?

I completed my 27th round around the sun today. The entire campus partied on this occasion. They called Raghu Dixit to perform. Our own class of '10 band performed and was amazing at that. Ya of course they dunked me in the pool at the start of the day - 12 midnight and smeared cake all over my face and head. And then we partied till 7 in the morning. The alums danced, students danced, spouses danced, and we gulped 1000 liters of alcohol. That alum in the morning was watching me with pity when I wasn't able to find my way to my SV. But I couldn't even see the road still! How could I know where to go! And they let me sleep for 4 hours only and started calling me up at 11 in the morning to wish me. The relatives and friends.

And just when I would say Man! this is the best birthday ever! my calender threw a reminder - McKinsey case preparation session due at 1 pm. I was still heavy with a hangover but had to drag myself into the shower for full 15 minutes in the vein hope that my head would feel a little better. That didn't happen. I spent the rest of the day from 1 pm to 8 pm doing cases with McKinsey alums. And what I get at the end of it? Guys, the preparation level of your batch is nowhere close to where the last year batch was by this time. You need to put in effort. Now how do I tell those guys that I am submitting one fucking assignment everyday, every assignment takes up at least 3/4th of my night, and then whatever time I find, like a machine I try to do a case or two. We did it in our times guys, nothing is new, they would quip. Now say, what a birthday!

But truly, what a birthday! This is the first one when I can look back and say yes today I have all that I wanted by this stage. And just when I want to sit back and relax, the McKinsey alums are here to tell me that this is just the end of the beginning...

A beautiful poem my Robert Frost to sum it all..

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep

Drunk and out..

2009-12-19T02:36:00.005+05:30

damn damn damn...I am completely inebriated at 2.36 in the night. ISB Solstice, the annual alum reunion is going and ISB is in all festive mood.

The days are fun man! One week to go for exams and in this one week, I have two individual assignments to submit for merger and acquisitions, one group assignment for the same, one group assignment for financial statement analysis, two group assignments for new product management, and two group assignments for financial engineering. And oh yeah, the interview preparation for McKinsey and BCG is going on with alums from McKinsey calling me late in the nights for case prep and my group calling me in the library for 2 hour 2 case sessions every third day. It's almost like a finger up my ass.

But the days are fun man, really! I am coming from the 2008 party lounge, all full with about 300 people, many alums, many spouses and many friends-with-benefits, yeah you got it! But it was fun...three large vodka pegs back to back, a long due chat with Garora, my one close friend, and a reminder that yes this is what I had bargained for. And then someone asks me where that girl is..oh ya, the same girl I went on a date with in one of the parties, when the next day everyone in the class thought I am seeing her and was concerned because they think I am a 'good' guy and she has been going out with bit too many people and ditching them like anything too often. But I wasn't seeing her. She just asked me out and I went. But its fun, people care for you! So, she came today with this another guy from my section only. The new catch, oh ya. But life is fun dude! This another girl, the daughter of a big industrialist, who was in my negotiation group last term put on a glittering pink lipstick and is looking damn sweet today and add to that she joined me in chat. Nakul and Manju were leaving, so I joined them. Enough it was for me for tonight. I had my head spinning and din't need any more liquor. On way back, Aloke is talking about the damn interview he is expecting. What the f**k dude, get a life. I am drunk at the moment. I'll tell you what to do for the interview tomorrow. Now, for God sake, go to bed! He got scared and let me go. Those muscles help you sometimes, I tell ya guys! Kick-ass!

Tomorrow I am turning 27. But life is fun dude, I tell ya. This is what I had bargained for..

16" it is..

2009-12-06T16:00:00.004+05:30

Wow, so today is officially the first time when the measuring tape showed 16" around my biceps! And I wrote only 15.5" on my resume...too bad.

All along the way, there were unspoken targets - 12" in the beginning, then 14", then 15" and finally 16". Na naa! I am not planning to go beyond 16" now. After all, there is something called proportions too. This is perfect.

But, cool, isn't it? I managed this all despite the ISB's grind!

So, is it destiny or you?

2009-12-04T20:38:00.007+05:30

My mom told me today for the 64,783,726th time not to worry and that whatever happens happens for good. Not to mention, I agreed with her on phone.

But then, is it really so?

When something happens one way and your life takes one direction, you start moving in that direction. And if you are inherently inclined to work hard, you turn that whatever way to your advantage and earn a reputation. You become an achiever in your area. And then people look at you and tell you "See! Had you got the other thing at that time in the past, you would not be this. You would not have achieved all this."

There appears a clear causation fallacy in such observations. If you had got that thing you wanted in the past, you would simply have taken a different direction, worked equally well and achieved similar results.

Wouldn't you have?

Core terms payoffs

2009-11-14T19:04:00.008+05:30

7 months in ISB flew by. For sure, now I realize what they mean when they say one year at ISB changes you, your perspective, and your life forever.

For one, sodomy of the core terms paid off today. I got the second ISB scholarship, this time for being in the the Dean's Merit List for core terms...phew! The first one was the ISB Admission Scholarship. Now I can afford to take the acads a little easy.

International placement season started some 15 days ago.

Resume is almost finalized now. It was difficult, took me some 30-40 iterations, just like the admission essays but has come up really well. All thanks to four McKinsey alums, and Sanjeev in particular. All of them gave valuable inputs and Sanjeev went out of his way in calling me himself and reviewing my resume for me. One alum from Citi group also gave a good piece of advice. Then my classmate Aloke gave me one full hour just 2 days before exams to review my resume. Of course I reciprocated.

McKinsey application deadline is tomorrow. I'll apply sometime today.

So much happening. And I have a feeling that I am forgetting something else too. What's it that I switched my laptop on for. Ohh crap! it's the end term exam tomorrow!

Movie for the evening..

2009-09-04T22:53:00.003+05:30

Just watched '21'. The end was fantastic. Just look at the confidence of Ben sitting before the interviewer. Amazing if you can do it in real life!

Term break coming to an end..

2009-08-30T01:32:00.003+05:30

Have watched..

No Man's Land

City of God

Life is Beautiful

Wall Street

in the last 24 hours and am going to get another one before the library closes..

brought Rashomon on a friend's suggestion but couldn't stand the black and white reel for more than half hour. Returned.

Watched Disturbia for a thriller to end the term break.

And now the pre reads for tomorrow's class. May be I'd read some Spanish notes too. It's been long.

Creating the thought leaders...

2009-08-27T15:57:00.004+05:30

I want to share something with you which completely blew me away. The passion behind this system is overwhelming and I am fortunate to be a part of one such system, if not the exact same.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid992329247?bctid=769654260

We have such similar things here. This makes me see my own system in a very different way - how much it has to offer and how much more I need to make out of it. Term 4 is on in four days...way to go Sodium.

A stepping stone to a career in finance or financial consulting..

2009-08-17T21:32:00.006+05:30

The news is just in..

Results came out. The company had given only one project here and 19 teams bid for it. Two were shortlisted, the other one of a very close friend. Both were interviewed and then high drama ensued. Results for all other companies were announced on the stipulated date but this one was withheld on part of some ongoing discussions on the client side. Then the two teams were called again for another meeting but the meeting was cancelled at the last minute. The results followed soon after.

We have got the project from one of the most coveted I-Banks. It was also the hottest project of this year here. Wishes have been pouring in since then. Have to agree, this is the biggest name associated with me so far.

And it all started with one phone call.

Watch out this space for more...for now, I have to meet my study group for tomorrow's case discussion..

Manish Sabharwal strikes again..

2009-08-15T18:57:00.008+05:30

Three days ago, on 12-Aug, we had Manish Sabharwal of Teamlease Services come to address our group who had taken the course on Planning an Entrepreneurial Venture. They call this guy a serial-entrepreneur whereas he insists that the adjective 'Serial' be used with only mean words like 'Killer', 'Rapist', etc.

The auditorium that is usually very hard to fill for any event here because of the continual pressure of acads and a multitude of parallel activities was full that day. The guy has earned a loyal audience by his spell binding presentations and speeches in various conferences here. And this day was not an exception. For 2 full hours, not a single person left Khemka (the Auditorium), and when he finished, he got a standing ovation for one full minute - quite a big thing here.

Here are a few witty one liners I remember from his presentation. They may look weird out of context here but were apt in the presentation. Nonetheless worth reading -

- Even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat (Damn! How many of us have realized this?!)

- You guys won the ovarian lottery (= you were born to a family who could provide you a respectable education. Respect man! what a logic!)

- Sexually transmitted CEOship (for family heirs becoming the CEOs of family owned businesses - blew me away!)

- One biggest advantage of being a bisexual is that you double your chances of finding a date (of course! Just that I never looked at it this way before!)

- If it went right, it was a skill. If it went wrong, it was bad luck.

- Entrepreneurship is about staying alive till you make money.

My quadi says I am influenced by the oratory skills and witty remarks. But, really, sometimes you go just for the pleasure of listening!

Closing remark at a VC session tonight..

2009-08-06T05:53:00.005+05:30

Everyone pities the weak..

Jealousy, you have to earn

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

A power packed night..

2009-08-02T01:00:00.003+05:30

Just came back from the ISB Arm Wrestling Competition. I and three others jointly organised it under the aegis of the Sports Club and the event was a huge success.

23 people challenged 23 others in the Challenge round. And 32 guys and girls participated in the Open Round. The event was attended by some of the hottest guys and girls of the batch.

Will soon update this post with some pics too.

And yeah, something came up in my discussion with another girl from my section -

If people feel that you are too complicated to understand, you probably are too complicated for even yourself.

A walk through the dark night..

2009-07-26T14:09:00.008+05:30

"Dude, look at the last year's shortlists - No one below 3.89/4 shortlisted by McKinsey, BCG, A T Kerney..." said my engineering classmate who has joined me here too. The guy is serious about this claim and has hit 4/4 in Term I. But he is still mourning the 'screwup' in Term II in which he thinks he will have to be content with only 2 A's and the rest 2 A-'s (=3.75/4), a portfolio of grades that would make most sensible people here open Champagne in the beautiful SV grounds under the cloudy night.

"No dude, I saw at least one guy shortlisted at 3.6 something. There may be more. I didn't check all." I said.

I have scored 3.75 in Term I and as usual, am very optimistic about the top tier consulting firms offering me a position, not just because I have good grades but because of my entire resume.

"No man! Then look at that guy's other activities too. He had done quite a lot." He suggested me.

This was a typical Sunday afternoon in the dining hall.

This is one year at a place that offers many opportunities to grow across several dimensions. Nobody is clear what is right. Everybody has come in with his own set of priorities and his own perception of success. In any conversation on what is right for the future and what is not, there is tremendous opinion clash. Some are going all out for grades because that's seriously all they have ever known. Some are fighting for grades under peer pressure to make it to top tier consulting firms. Surprisingly a few guys who were happily 6 point someones at IIT are slogging for 4/4 here. This is the last platform to a great career, they would tell you - right or wrong, nobody knows, not even the alumns. Some would tell you not to focus too much on grades and do other things too but the hesitation in the voice gives out way too much - They are really not sure what would work in this market.

A substantial chunk of student population - those still trying to make sense out of the chaos and determined not to be the part of a meaningless rat race - meets in fragments on cloudy night walks around the academic center and asks others of the group whether it's really right to succumb to the peer pressure and register for all those industry projects or business plan competitions just because everybody else is working hard to add that extra line to their resume that might signal their superior level of willingness to join the AAA rated recruiters and to prepare some material for those 5 minutes of interview that would make the entire difference between the upper casts and the untouchables of Corporate India.

You should listen to those fighting souls on those dark night walks. The confident adults in business are nervous students for sometime. One puts hands around the other's shoulders and tries to comfort them on the same dilemma that is eating himself within. Nobody is just ignoring academics here. We are infact getting above average grades. After that level of hard work, should we really not do what we want to do - play football everyday, do gym, go swimming, dance, perhaps look for a special someone...or..is it really a sin here to think of relaxation - mental or physical. And they listen to each other. In half an hour of each other's company, they feel better and go back to their rooms, read the latest issue of The Economist, something they so wanted to do from the last four days, do some course reading and get lulled into a peaceful sleep.

The day breaks with sun shining through the flimsy curtains, there is a lot to do today. Morning classes, some afternoon assignments, an alum session from some AAA rated company in the evening, discussions with numerous classmates throughout and the day ending in hesitation at 7.30 in the evening whether to go to the recreation center or to pitch for the new industry projects posted this afternoon or may be go to the professional club's meeting to be a part of the focus group trying to organise some high profile conference on some esoteric management topic, not because that's what they want to do, but because who knows networking might come in handy for a good job tomorrow and of course 'Key member of the organising committee of So&So summit' might give them a spike on the resume. 'Might' because nobody is sure..

At 11.30 in the night, I look out of my window into the cloudy sky and pick up the phone "Aloke, want to come for a walk for sometime?"

Mental Attyachaar...

2009-07-23T01:35:00.009+05:30

Last year when I read the blogs of top MBA school students sometimes, I also came across a few from those from the Indian School of Business. Some of them wrote their posts at 2 am or 3 am and said they were about to go to read a case for the next morning class after the post. And I wondered how difficult that should be at that hour knowing that you have had a packed day, have morning 8 am class the next day, and still haven't yet started reading the case at 2-3 am!

Fast forward almost an year...

In the morning, I had 2 hours each of Managerial Accounting and Corporate Finance class from two of the world's most revered Profs in the areas - one from Kellogs and the other from UCLA. In the afternoon, I went for the last term's end term paper viewing session that took me another 2 hours. Caught a short nap in the evening. Went for the consulting club session from the BCG people who had flown down from Mumbai for a day and because the BCG partner there was an economist with a passion and authority in his subject, it turned out to be almost another class in economics and finance resulting in a severe information overload in a single day. The stress buster was a sweet 10 min chat, after BCG session, with one of the prettiest girls of my batch - yeah, you are free to assume anything about my intentions; when the girl has that mix of qualities and beauty, anybody can slip. But I hear that she already has an equally eligible boyfriend, though I have no source to varify that information yet.

Ah, I have this tendency to digress from the subject!

Alright, so after such a pecked day, it's 2 am now, I have a class at 8.15 in the morning, and still have to start reading the case for tomorrow's class...

A leader he will be..

2009-06-29T10:25:00.008+05:30

Cream of the future Indian management, budding entrepreneurs, aspiring CEOs and what not!

They join all sorts of clubs, take 'initiatives', 'network' with the who-is-who of the corporate, organise 'International conference on this and that' successfully every now and then, despite challanges like the bad market, etc. Above all, they are called 'Leaders'! They got in here precisely because of their demonstrated leadership qualities.

They are perfectionists, they believe in excellence and expect excellence from others - from the school too...but

...but they would leave their room ACs on for the five hours they are in class. Why? So they find their rooms cool when they come back. Oh, but it feels claustrophobic in closed rooms. So, they would also keep the room door open. Oh yeah, the AC is still on, otherwise it's so hot! And you know actually leaving the room open is good too in a way, so you have the lobby cool too, just in case you want to drop in to watch TV for 5 minutes in the day. At least, you wouldn't sweat for those 5 minutes. And did you say about the lights? Ah! Come on you freak, how much power does a tube light consume!

Ask them where their parents live. They would give you the name of some small place near Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata, Bangalore, or so. Oh yes, they would recall over a cup of tea how they were always mad when the power went off for hours a night before their final exams. In fact, they got a percent lesser in 12th just because of that. This incompetent Indian political and buerocratic machinery can never make India a developed nation by 2020 if this is the state of a basic necessity as power, they would tell you. God knows what would happen to the exploding power needs of this country had the left been successful in scuttling the Nuke deal! And hey why are they not going home in the term break? Ah man, it's very hot at my home place and even the power doesn't come full day. I would rather call my parents here in one of those breaks.

Once in a while, an observer brings their attention to this and look at the humility of those leaders, they are always prompt in taking the blame, accepting responsibility. Just fast forward one more day, they are in the class, you sneak into their open door and a burst of cool air hits you in the well lit room. Laptop is on so they hit the ground running on coming back from the classes..

How I wish, we knew leadership starts from within...

SUST, SUSU, et al...

2009-06-28T00:45:00.004+05:30

Markstrat is a well known game in the MBA world. You compete with your batch for the same market, do R&D, launch products, build your brand, do advertising, deploy sales force, collude and what not! (Alright, collusion is not possible because of the Honour Code demon that bars us from placements and gives a straight F in the subject at the smallest violation of rules)

Every product has a four letter name - First letter for the market (S for SONITE market), second letter for firm (U for firm U. There are 5 firms in the industry, A, E, I, O, U), and the last two letters are your imagination for your product.

You are given seven periods, each equivalent to an year and you have to maximize your profits every period.

Our firm is U, so all our products for Sonite market start with SU-

We launched SUST two periods back and it has not really been sust. Instead it has quickly become our star product. However, the surprise came when our recent launch SUSU exceeded expected sales and the production fell short. In fact, this time our production of SUST, SUSU, and SUSI, all, fell short even though we had targeted almost 75% market because of our strategic positioning on all segments. But the markets grew by far and with the targetted sales numbers, we got only 61% market share and the production fell short. But still, this time our net earnings were the highest of all periods, perhaps because we had taken 4 large shots of Vodka before keying in the first marketing mix numbers.

But those names are giving us a ball of a time in all our markstrat sittings and Vodka added to the slime. Krishna told Somesh and Ranjana "Why don't you guys do SUSU (together?!) !" when all he meant was to ask them to plug in the advertising and sales force numbers for the product in the system. And the dirtiest of all happened when we all agreed that we were targetting (our) susu at high earners. Not that subtle, eh!

I have daily discussions with our competitors over the wrangle for the only market and this time I had challanged a firm A girl to do whatever she could but she wouldn't be able to beat us. We beat them up by almost 40 million markstrat currency this time. Dinner tomorrow should be fun. I can't wait to rub it in at her. Dining hall is our most common hangout to socialize and markstrat has only added to the meal time chaos.

The other guy, who is my partner for DMOP assignments, and his group opened champagne last time when they made 41k (as against our 55 million, to put the numbers in perspective). They have seen negative net contributions (read positive losses!) in all other periods so far, so a positive contribution, however small, was a reason to go on a binge. The guys are all set for the B- in markstrat. But he is a good chartered accountant, I can't stop laughing at his markstrat plight everytime I look at him. They made a -1500 this time too. Two days ago, I told him I wished Markstrat had an M&A option with a possibility of a hostile take over if your share price went too low. The guy told me how he wished he could kick me in the nuts, if he were not scared of my biceps.

Life is not fair dude!

The Gym guy..

2009-06-22T23:35:00.005+05:30

My business card now reads -

1. Co-ordinator for Gym and Fitness Centre under the Sports Club, and

2. Co-ordinator for the Recreation Centre under the Operations and Infrastructure Club

The first role involves organising and managing the participation of Gym and Fitness Centre in all the Sports Club events and the second role involves managing the day-to-day activities, infrastructure, and operations of the entire Recreation Centre, including all the sports facilities, Gym, and Swimming pool.

The first appointment makes me the member of the Sports Club - Core and the second the member of the Graduate Student Board - Extended for the class of 2010.

I never thought my business card would read all this at ISB. Perfect for a Gym freak, isn't it! BTW, thanks in advance. I know you are itching to click the comments link to congratulate me!

Several new demands are already in the queue for the recreation centre and public has just been waiting to pounce upon the Rec Centre Rep as soon as the formal body structure is announced. Huh..where to start from...perhaps a brand new calves machine for my favourite...Gym!

The reflections..

2009-06-18T22:49:00.009+05:30

I have had moments when I have cribbed about this place, but when I am receptive to the external environment, this place continues to give me new, exciting experiences.

Tonight we six guys from section A were having dinner in the Goel dining hall and discussing random things when the Strategy Prof from the University of Michigan came with his dinner plate and asked if he could join us. It was a delight. We have had several good profs so far in the two terms but this one is perhaps the best of them all. I heard that last year he was voted the Prof of the year. He is an IIM A grad, has a PhD from Wharton and is over 45 years old. It was amazing to see how well we connected. The classroom formality had given way to informal chatter about everything under the sun. We discussed about the opportunities in the Education and Health Care sectors and the apple case. One of the guys said he had heard somewhere that the Prof had met Steve Jobs sometime back and had asked him why he was still insisting on the same strategy for iPhone and iPod that he had used for iMac and had failed to create a reasonable market share with, despite having so many things in his favour in the beginning of the industry in the early 80s. The Prof confirmed this and we talked about what happened in that talk. Inspiring to hear first hand the experiences of someone who meets Steve Jobs, Ratan Tata, and the likes regularly on corporate assignments.

I asked him the question I had in mind from a very long time. What difference he saw between us and the students at Wharton, Kellogs, and Michigan, etc. I requested him to be frank and blunt. Our class reading of his personality says he can be relied to be blunt in his opinions. While he had no doubt about the quality of the students here, he said something we all know very well. Of course, any Indian B school hasn't attracted as much diversity so far as the top US B schools do. There are many reasons for it and have been discussed numerous times on various forums. I am sure this will change very soon at ISB, but anyways. Speaking of diversity, he spoke in statistical terms since he reasoned we had already taken that course in the last term. He said that in general, the students here could be called a high mean, low variance group whereas the students at the top US schools a low mean, high variance one. For business, you might argue in favour of the latter having relatively higher creative and out-of-the-box factor, in general. He cited the fact that the majority at any international B school in any country is local. Accordingly, a top US B school has a majority of US students whereas an Indian B school like ISB has a majority of Indian students. The education system of the respective countries that brought the students through schooling and graduation reflects in everything they do. And the Indian education system is not highly encouraging as compared to that of the US. The prof made a clear point that the difference he was hinting at had mostly to do with the cultural and societal factors rather than with the quality of Indians as a whole or the quality of ISB. We Indians have a stigma attached to unemployment, failures, etc., things which the Americans consider normal and essential for success in life. I agree with him. He ended up suggesting us how to make the best of this year. He had attended his 20th reunion at IIM A recently and like every senior executive tells us, he said that it didn't matter where everybody had started from. "Your first job isn't going to decide your life." He reiterated a very important learning I have had first hand in the last couple of years - "In the end, we'll all be where we aspire to be, if we work hard, don't lose sight of the goal and have faith in our abilities."

The pressure at ISB is tremendously high. Sometimes when I get time to reflect, I try to tell myself that I am not going to study for grades, I am going to study for learning. I am not going to waste my time worrying what kind of job I am most likely to land up if I do this and that. I am going to do what I love to do. There are all kinds of people here. I just have to look up to those who inspire me.

On a different note, our sports club president has made me the Gym representative for our recreation center. I have already come to be identified with Gym here. Every week, once or twice, a person comes up to me on the lunch or dinner table - our social hangout here - and asks me if I am into professional body building. Even the guy here who has been the youngest refree for volleyball in the Olympics once asked me this over buffet. And the gym coach doesn't believe I havn't taken supplements. It's such a feeling. I tell them that I am an amateur and as I walk back from the meals to my flat, I remember the words of that astrologer that we went to when I had already been operated more than 10 times and had been advised another operation whose chances of success were only 50% - "In 10 years, looking at him, you'd not be able say that he didn't walk on his feet for months and had minimal chances of survival" - and of course, we didn't believe him. We had lost almost everything. A chill runs through my spine everytime I juxtapose my past and my present. It took 15 years instead of 10 but the day has come.

ISB is a fast paced world. Most of them here are extraordinary at something in their lives. The pressures are enormous. Sometimes, it makes me myopic. But whenever I get some time to reflect, I pull myself up to focus at the big picture. I replay the last 15 years of my life before my eyes and the answer is right there - In the end, you all will reach where you really want to.

The Perfect Entrepreneur...

2009-06-06T22:22:00.010+05:30

The International Conference on Entrepreneurship concluded here today. The hours between 4.30 pm and 6.30 pm today alone were immensely enriching. I am a big fan of Mr. Manish Sabharwal of TeamLease Services now. The clarity, passion, and articulation in his words was striking. He is an alum of Wharton.

He gave many insights into the world of entrepreneurship and with sound basis:

"Aim high. Aiming low in the beginning is something I feel I shouldn't have done. Believe in yourself and push in full throttle."

"You don't wait for all the lights to go green before you can leave home." (In the context of waiting for removal of all or existing regulatory hurdles before thinking of starting a venture in India)

"When you go to the 10 year reunion of your alma mater, you shouldn't have put yourself in a situation in all those years where you would tell your old pals in retrospect that there is something you wish you should have done but didn't do for whatever reason."

"Remember, entrepreneurs can create two kinds of companies - Babies and Dwarfs. The only difference is that babies grow." (Blew me off!)

"It doesn't necessarily and mostly start with the 'best idea'. You continually mutate your original idea till something starts making business sense and appeals to your customer. While leaving your current job, you don't think that the first plan you work on would work in its initial form. Mutate and adapt to market.

Entrepreneurship is not an event. It's a process." (Closing statement of the event and the audience burst into voluntary applause. My respect for the man multiplied)

He made numerous thought provoking statements and all came naturally from him. He lives by these ideas. If I wish to be like someone in a few years, this is the man!

Manish Sabharwal

Diversity in action..

2009-05-30T10:40:00.019+05:30

What's up with all those advertising wizards! I asked this advertising industry alum during breakfast what the backgrounds of his study group mates were. And the guy says - Me, three IITians and one engineer.

WTF!! %$#^@$

Doesn't he know that IITs produce engineers, at least on paper. Yeah, I put this modifier to the last sentence precisely because of that finger you are pointing at me. Loser!

Anyways. Even as I tried to forget this out of my respect for his seniority, this second creative jam in our section poked me in the rib, in the middle of the class.

"What man! What's with the handwriting of all those statisticians? All of them write like a doctor's prescription!" Said the former creative head of an Advertising firm, sitting beside me in the statistics class and gulping coffee after coffee to keep awake, dyslexic from having seen all kinds of greek symbols over the board in the last one hour.

"Just look at how he is drawing the simple differential sign everywhere. The guy can't even draw a 'd' straight." He said about the single letter he seemed to identify on the board, from having taken the pre terms in quants.

I looked at my (under)priviledged, diversity friend and felt a pang of Sympathy for the English Literature graduate who writes a new poem on every occassion here and whose straight face is already funny enough that I don't need such provocations from him in the middle of the class. The professor had indeed been accentuating the tilt in the 'd' of differential. Putting my hand around him to cushion the blow, I told him that the '∂' on the board was called a partial differential in Mathematics.

Poor guy looked at me, offended. "WTF is that!"

The dinner table laughed for 5 minutes non stop in the night.

Second among equals...

2009-05-23T22:26:00.004+05:30

I am under tremendous pressure. Everybody here is so damn focussed on marks. Whenever in my past I have got marks, I have worked very very hard for them, forsaking everything else. And today I see two choices:

- Work single mindedly hard and match 'em.

- Keep getting average + 2/3 marks and work towards things I deem important for my personality.

Anyone with a common sense would tell me to choose the second. I want to do that. But it's not 2008. The pressure here in this market is tremendous. Consulting firms shortlist on the basis of grades and you got to be among the top 50 to crack one of those. Though there are several other relevant arguments too:

- If I only focus on marks, then I do not develop other aspects of my personality that I clearly find important. This might also come in my way of shortlist by the top consulting firms.

- I might harm myself in the long run too by not developing 360 degrees.

- Obviously, I am not happy.

But the market is really bad and all of us are in a huge debt now. What if we don't even land a decent paying job with average marks!

I always get myself into such situations when I want to fast forward life and be certain of what happened eventually. When will I start to live the present!

Rohm&Haas - the best case ever..

2009-05-20T01:33:00.007+05:30

Huh...the days are flying by. Term 1 ends in another 10 days. Today was the first day in one month when I left my quad at 7.50 am and came back at 1 am in the night. It was one of those very happening days that define the life@ISB.

First, I and one of my study groupies were discussing the Rohm&Haas case on the steps of the academic building at 5 in the evening when the documentary guys spotted us and came to shoot a video on us. They are making it a part of the movie on life@ISB. This movie will be screened in all the admission information sessions across the world this year onwards. We were anyway discussing a marketing case and our animated discussion seemed to them a fit on the subject. CDs will come in about 3 weeks, they said. I can't wait!

Not long ago, we aspired to be a part of this school and today we represent it! I was so thrilled to be the part of this movie that I could not concentrate on the case anymore and used the time sleeping in the class room while the other groupies put together the slides. We are three IITians (one of them been in sales for the last 15 years), one CA, and one corporate trainer in our group. When I woke up an hour later, the sales guy and the trainer girl were almost starting to prepare the speech to go with it. We heard the two of them go through the ppt once when an idea struck me. Anyway, this case doesn't have too many numbers, the ppt is gonna lull the audience into sleep. Why not do a play on it. The idea fired up everybody's imagination. We dropped the idea of ppt, had a quick dinner, and met at Krishna's studio (single apt flat) to rehearse for the play. The way it has come out after an hour of practice, none of us can concentrate on any more pre reads for tomorrow. We just want to get to the marketing class and rock section A. Who knew a case on metal cutting fluid biocides could ignite a chartered accountant and a corporate trainer so much.

The two (CA and corporate trainer) got a touch of the creative diversity of this place today, just as we engineers will get from them some day in some other accounts or HR related case perhaps! Anyway, I have already begun to like balance sheets and financial statements so much that at times I have thought that a career in finance might be an interesting choice afterall, notwithstanding the scary market scene.

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21-May-2009

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The skit went really cool. Here is a pic of me (left) and Somesh (with the mic) performing.

Gone with the wind...

2009-05-12T22:10:00.003+05:30

In the end, we hope that you say "Our car is not bekar", concluded Chandra after our presentation on our Concept car for a contest by SAE, IIT Roorkee chapter, in the second year of B.Tech. We had put in about 3 nights putting together our design. Prof Gakkhar announced a few minutes later that the first prize went to the 'certainly not bekar car'. Memories still bring a smile to my face.

That was 7 years ago. Times have changed. So much is different now. The carefree students of engineering 7 years ago are a bit seasoned with the life of the corporate and are almost entering the second phase of their lives. Chandra graduated from India's top business school, ranked 20th in the world then and begged one of the coveted jobs in consulting. Today he is the director of his own publishing house, is engaged to a pretty young lady and the couple are soon to start their new innings.

Yours truly is the current student at the same business school, now ranked 15th in the world and still exploring his options with jobs and girls, both.

Time just flies by. Today will also be gone before you know it. As I stare gloomily at my laptop reading the course pack for the looming mid term exam, an old thought strikes me - Live like there is no tomorrow.

PAN IIT booze @ ISB

2009-05-08T11:11:00.005+05:30

Last night saw the PAN IIT booze flowing at the co2008 lounge at ISB.

We were not planning to have any formal thing of this sort among ourselves because we wanted to avoid forming a closed cohort but the head of admissions here himself invited all IIT grads for a high tea this evening to discuss on the future strategy to continue attracting people from the top technical institutes of India. Once that happened, people hesitantly poured in mails on whether we should all meet sometime. Sensing the underlying community mood, yours truly sealed the sentiment inviting everybody to put together a booze party for the Thu night when the classes for the week finish. Responses were immediate and elated. A number of people volunteered for booze, music, and system. Abhishek from section H, whose classes are in the afternoon, reserved the co2008 lounge in the morning when some of us were being tortured by the z- and the t- curves of statistics to predict the chances of us having a swine flu even though we had tested negative and others were being cold called by the marketing prof on the FedEx case. And while we cursed ourselves why we quit our six figured salaries for this BS, a pleasant surprise was the arrangement of lights and speakers too from the school side.

By 11.30 pm, almost 75 of the 112 IIT alums gathered in the lounge. Of course girls were hard to find but wasn't that expected! Towards the later part of the night, the consensus was to invite all the IIT alums and all the girls of ISB in any such future parties. Though the move is more likely to label us losers but what the heck!

In the end, some cheekily chosen songs and ghazals from the singers of the batch reminded everybody of their one sided, first love at college. We sealed the night with a 'Purani Jeans' from everybody together. The party was highly successful and left all of us wanting for more while we left the lounge with the memories of how farzi our journey to here had been - copying tutorials, bunking classes, sending proxies, abondaning studies with the full conviction that corporate would kiss our asses begging us to join them once we graduate (The enlightment was not to come till it was late), and all the while unconsciously evolving a personality that would instantly connect us with the other members of the community throughout our lives, anywhere in the world.

Isn't it all worth it.

Perception..

2009-05-04T16:10:00.004+05:30

"Do you think any of you represents India?" quipped the marketing professor from Emory to a remark from one of the students.

And it struck me that to the eyes of an Indian-American Professor, I do not represent India today just because I am sitting in an Internationally renowned business school. If only he realized that the natural leaders of India all rise from the bottom of the pyramid and have seen all the hardships of its lower or middle middle class.

Learnings outside the classroom..

2009-04-29T23:21:00.005+05:30

"Hey Ankur, I wanted to apologize to you. I didn't intend to corner you. I hope you didn't mind."

The professor of Financial Accounting from Duke stopped me outside the dining hall after lunch and said those words. I was stumped. Earlier in his class, I had opined that Shareholder's equity is the liability of a company towards its shareholders. The class opposed me in chorus and the professor told me never to repeated this anywhere. It was usual, a professor correcting his student. I didn't even think any bit about that, then or later.

But still, I was humbled and touched by his gesture. I will keep this in mind wherever I go in my life. The learning has begun.

Thanks professor.

It's just the second week honey..

2009-04-22T22:06:00.009+05:30

Pre terms are on here and this is my first post from ISB. It's been just 11 days and feels as if months have passed. A total information overload has started taking its toll.

My quadi Satyam got locked behind the bathroom door today. The housekeeping had to call the carpenter to break the door open and rescue Satyam. What was more was that he wasn't alone in the bathroom. He had taken the housekeeping supervisor along to demonstrate him the problem with the lock. Apparantly this year is specifically bad for Satyams of the world !

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell, the quad here is a four bedroom flat shared by four students. Our quad would perhaps have the highest average GMAT score - 765. We form a simple arithmatic progression with 750, 760, 770, and 780. We discussed last night to paste our GMAT scores to our room doors. That's the closest geeks can get to being cool (All pun intended!)

Today, yours truly had a chance to sit within 10 meters of a person who sits with the likes of Barack Obama. The Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs, Lloyd C. Blankfein, visited the school to deliver a talk on Entrepreneurship. It's always inspiring to see how humble all those top guys are. Though I had to repeatedly tell myself not to get up from the seat, go right down the aisle to the front row and shout at him. I always have this urge whenever I am supposed to behave. In the school, I always wanted to slap my principal whenever I bowed good morning or afternoon to him. He liked me very much. He even admitted me to school even though there were no vacant seats. I always felt like slapping him.

During the high coffee, an American working for the US consulate in Hyderabad approached me and Priyom while we were admiring the girl whom I had discovered last night from the profile book. He caught us off guard and we had to struggle to think for our introductions. To begin with mine, I almost said what a nice pair of legs she had! I have seen more girls in shorts, minis, micros, and bikinis in the last 10 days than I had seen in my entire stupid life so far. Anyways, three other guys joined us soon. The American was amazed to see that all of us Indians were working with American firms and mostly in America before coming here. Perhaps his first brush with the global outlook at ISB.

This batch is a diverse one with rich experiences all across. Just our section A itself, of about 72 students, boasts of an ex IAS officer, an ex Lt. Colonal, a national level Bharatnatyam dancer, a black belt in Karate, the business head for the west region at Lowe, the senior creative group head for another advertiser firm (can't recall the name), a second ranker in BTech at IIT with a GPA of 9.7/10, a French guy who plays Tabla and sings hindi songs and Urdu Kawwali (Sometimes the sadist in me wishes he were more French!), a millionaire real estate businessman, an Army girl, and of course yours truly. They all speak a great deal about how lucky there are to be studying with yours truly for the entire next year!

Even our study group of five, which will be doing most of the core terms assignments together for the next six months, boasts of three IIT graduates, including that second ranker I already told you about, one 40 year old sales and marketing guy who did his BTech from IIT Bombay in 1992 and now has two cute kids, and lastly yours truly. The fourth one is a CA who also secured 49th rank in the CA exam. And the fifth one is a cool chick who was a corporate trainer but sadly got married when she was 21. Some people are too early to fall in love, aren't they!

By the way, yours truly is looking for a sweet, pretty, and caring girl for himself because his dreams of hooking a hot chick here just got shattered, given all those dudes in the batch...sigh!

ISB: 3 days away

2009-04-07T00:14:00.002+05:30

My mom asked me today how it feels with only three days to go. And I thought for a moment -

In 3 days, I would set foot on what was a distant dream for me for a long time. I will become a current student of the Indian School of Business; a part of ISB. Within me, I still haven't started feeling the reality yet and by dramatizing it in the sentences above, I am trying to drum it down myself. But the devil's sense still tells me 'how come something so good happen to you !'

What to be careful about while filing your federal income tax return in the US as a non-resident alien..

2009-02-21T00:03:00.014+05:30

Many of us come to the US in the later half of the year and because in such cases we are in the US for less than 180 days of that financial year, we are called non-resident aliens for that financial year. Alien because we are not the citizens of the US and non-resident because we were here for less than 180 days of the financial year. The income tax filing for non-resident aliens differs substantially from that for resident aliens. If you want a peace of mind and an assurance that you will be the last person to receive a notice from the IRS, which is the US income tax department, it's important to stick to the basic rules of income tax for non-resident aliens. Some $500 of risky extra return will not benefit as much as the toll a notice from the IRS will take on your mental and financial health. All these rules can be dug out from the official site of IRS, which is of course not a very attractive time pass for most.

When I approached several of my colleagues and friends for guidance on how to go about filing my IT return here, the most common piece of advice I got was to go for a consultant of indian origin, labeled 'Desi Consultants'. Apparantly, they help you get more refund and charge less than the local ones. I talked to three such desis and smelled something fishy - each one was getting me a high refund in the same ballpark but interestingly, the heads under which the refunds were coming were different with each. This made me research over this for almost a full day if I add up the number of hours put in different days. I called up IRS and other tax consultants several times and sacrifised a few hours of my life reading the IRS website. Eventually, what I found out was somewhat startling.

I know some half dozen colleagues (from previous years too) who came in Oct/Nov of the year and were a non-resident alien for that year. They all e-filed their claims through desis, using the form 1040. Moreover, these consultants applied standard deductions on their gross earnings which easily brought their federal tax liability down to zero. The same has recently happened with one colleague this year too. As follows, all the above bold faced approaches are not applicable to non-resident aliens.

Surprisingly, the IRS says that non-resident aliens should fill form 1040NR (NR stands for non-resident, and doesn't defy common sense) or form 1040NR-EZ (EZ pronounced as easy). E-filing of both these forms, i.e., for non-resident aliens has been discontinued by the IRS from some time now. Only paper filing is done for them.
Moreover, IRS says that standard deduction is not applicable to non-resident aliens. Only itemized deductions can be claimed with various expenses clearly mentioned.
And even the itemized deductions has an upper limit of 30% of your adjusted gross income (AGI).
Effectively, no non-resident alien can escape paying at least some federal income tax. Though there is one case of very low income where this is possible and I have explained that in the points in the closing paragraph of this post. (Don't be too hopeful though, for average income group in all probability, that would apply only if you came in December)

The desi consultants I talked to are either not aware of this or are not admitting this. They still assure me of a 100% federal IT refund with standard deduction using the form 1040 that is not even meant for me. All of them, without fail, brought my fed tax liability to zero. Some are even getting me an 'Earned income credit' or 'Recovery rebate credit' which in such cases will be almost a fraud.

Sites like turbo tax, etc. in their free e-filing process with form 1040 show me both types of deductions - standard and itemizes and flatly suggest I go with the higher of them. But then 1040 is for residents and they may have a choice in deciding the kind of deduction applied.

Now, I am not a prissy pedant abiding the law to the nth detail but I at least don't want to receive any IRS notice for violation of the basic income tax rules while I concentrate on better things at ISB.

To close with, let me write down a rough way to calculate the federal IT refund for non-resident aliens:

You wouldn't get any refund from social security tax and medicare tax, if you have paid them.
You would get refund only against federal income tax and state income tax.
Note down your adjusted gross income (AGI), which is nothing but the gross income that you got in your pocket (as against the annual gross income)
In all probability, you have incurred expenses towards house rent, internet, utilities, laundry, and laptop for official use (if you use it for personal purpose too, you can specify a percentage usage towards official use). Itemized deduction can be claimed against those expenses but only to the extent of 30% of your AGI. And to be in the risk free zone (not to invite an IRS notice), a good tax consultant will claim some amount between 29-30% of your AGI under this head.
For singles, an additional $3500 is deducted flat from AGI (I am not sure about the name of this head). This amount for married people, whose spouce was with them in the US for most part of that period, is $7000. This deduction brings your federal taxable income down to zero if as a married person, your AGI was about $10,000 ((100-30)% of 10,000=7000) and as a single, your AGI was $5000 ((100-30)% of 5000=3500).
After deducting the above two heads, you pay a tax on the rest of your income. The tax rate depends on which slab you come in. The minimum is 10%.
One consultant that I found following all those nitty gritty is IBSN.

I hope this information is of use to those who bother to do some research before filing with any idiot. Gotta be careful in financial matters in a foreign land.

Little bit to learn from everybody...everybody

2009-02-18T06:20:00.003+05:30

Sometimes you wish

you could go back in time

and do the things differently

just a little bit...

the fascination of being in america

2009-02-15T22:59:00.006+05:30

Sometimes, on my way to office or back, I look around and say to myself - "This is America." The dream of more than half of India. The land of the rich, the educated, and the leaders. I say to myself - "This is America. I am standing on the American soil. I am touching the American trees." I try to see if I can fascinate myself the same way as are a large number of people back home.

But all I can feel fascinated about is me standing on the globe at a position almost diameterically opposite to my home. Either I am upside down or they are. Or we both are at different times of the day.

Early days have been difficult here, without a car, with not enough disposable money (saving for my MBA fees), and everything in a flux. But I don't ask myself questions whether I like America or not. Whether I would want to stay here for long or settle here sometime or not. I want to do well in whatever I choose to do in my career and if that means going around the world, thoughts about liking or disliking where I go would do no good to my career. In all probability, my job would take me around the world a lot. The question of where I base myself wouldn't be all that relevent.

Bin, Pallet, Small Hang Tag, Large Hang Tag, Business card...phew

2009-01-14T12:16:00.005+05:30

Small harmless labels on the retail shelves...

...no easy game, I tell ya.

To deegee..

2009-01-09T05:41:00.007+05:30

She is beautiful. She is charming. She dances on stage. She makes sketches. She trusts me. She chats with me when I need someone. I have had a crush on her, but have never told her because she has a full time boyfriend.

I met her on a coaching institute's forum, an year back. Like me, she was one of many who try their hand at CAT and don't make it. Whereas, not having been considered for even a cuppa tea by the mighties despite a 99.53, I quit the CAT race and took the GMAT path to my future, she persisted one more year, for a third attempt at it and decided to sit at home for one more year. I didn't say anything because I have seen such people who spoil their early career and life for repeated attempts at CAT and in the end settle for some unknown management institute. But still, I sometimes chatted with her because she had all those qualities and more so because unlike most pretty girls, she talked to me.

Today was her birthday and the CAT 08 result came early morning at 00:00 am. And what a birthday gift! She scored a 99.95 percentile this year with a 50% aggregate score. Man! the last feather tucked itself in her cap. She has got brains too! Wish I had met her in time.

I can't tell you how happy I am for you deegee!

Munna Bhai chale lok sabha..

2009-01-09T00:50:00.005+05:30

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/sanjay-dutt-to-fight-lok-sabha-polls-from-lucknow/82254-3.html

Damn it! Does this guy even know what Lucknow looks like!

And it's a total joke on the law. His conviction is associated with one of the deadliest serial bomb blasts in the country! The motive of contesting the elections is pretty much out in the open.

In the making...

2008-12-23T13:22:00.008+05:30

These days I am working on a project for one of the prominent retailers in the US. This is my first assignment as a Business Analyst in retail and somehow I landed up working on the pricing system of this retail giant on my first assignment itself, that too without a degree in business. The work is amazing. A complete insight into all the headache that goes behind those simple and attractive labels on the shelves in the stores. The process is anything but simple and the work of a BA on the IT side of it is even more complicated than that on the strategy side. On the strategy side, a bigger role is played by the common sense and innovative thinking whereas on the IT side an additional comfort with multiple technologies is needed. You can't help feeling miserable when different technology teams give you their analyses in total technical terms. What is abcd to them is total greek to me. The learning on this project is tremendous.

The project was floated by the vice president of strategic initiatives for IT here and is being managed by the senior director of IT. It's a delight to observe the way of thinking of these senior people when I sit across the tables with them for weekly updates. At times I am totally awed by the confidence and experience they have. I feel so conscious of every single word I tell them. The feeling is very different; All that I have been doing in my academics and career of last 3 years is outstanding, perhaps comparable to what they did in their times, but still somewhere I feel small before these people. When this Sr. Director of IT poses a question and looks at me - 'Me' !! of all people, 'Me'! Not that Business relationship manager, not that GRM, but 'Me' - that's what goes in my mind in that fraction of a second, before I compose myself and reply. He looks at me because he knows I am handling this project and the BRM or GRM are only my managers. But still, all the respect that I have been taught to give my elders all through my childhood, brings up that instinct in me to stand up and look down with my hands tied at my back and head nodding at every word. I have to fight that tendency every time. I have to work hard to bring that mature and thick accent to my voice during those moments.

Desperate moments..

2008-12-22T09:24:00.002+05:30

"wow...ISB pune???"

..and we thought it's a name in the world.

First international b'day..

2008-12-20T09:35:00.013+05:30

People coin all sorts of quirky terms!

My college friend wrote to me "so how r u celebrating your first international b'day..." Man! international b'day!!! I can't stop smiling.

And then in the gym, I was talking to this friend of mine when I said

"aaj mere paas IIT hai, ISB hai, H1B hai...tumhare paas kya hai ?"

"mere paas girlfriend hai..." he hit straight on my raw nerve ! He sure knows my secret sorrow.

But yeah, for a moment discounting the fact that I am away from my family, this birthday is one of the best I have ever had. No, not because the clubs here give free laps on your birthday. Why do you always have to think of me that ways!

Whatttt !! ISB ?!!

2008-12-11T12:34:00.004+05:30

It's difficult people. It's not easy.

A GMAT score of 780 comes rarely and when you have it, people don't congratulate as much on your admission into the Indian School of Business, the top B school in India, as they ask you why you are not going abroad for your MBA.

What to tell you guys. Just understand that I don't have money even to pay for any other offer acceptance. It costs to go and study abroad on your own without a monthly pay check. And you have to think twice before taking such a huge education loan. There are many other family responsibilities too. Many bills to pay once you get married.

I may sound stupid, but can't help feeling miserable about people's expectations from me.

A dull celebration..

2008-11-21T22:53:00.006+05:30

Phew ! I should be partying, I should be boozing, I should not be sleeping at nights, and I should not be staying at home now ! But what to do here in the US. I am just a week old and have only professional acquaintances here. So no celebrations for me. Sometime back, I wrote that I do not want to write about every stage in this pursuit but now that no one is here with me, all I can do is write.

Life is gonna be exciting for the next 4 months - reading to admit's forums, different social networking groups, the admits internal website. I hear great stories about the passouts of this place but I still can't completely believe that something good is in store for me too in the future.

Something has perhaps changed, but I haven't started feeling it yet !

A fortunate dog..

2008-11-21T13:51:00.005+05:30

Receiving lots of wishes today, I noticed one thing - all of my good friends said "I am really happy for you." A couple could have said it as a courtsey but every one of them !

Guess I have some of the most caring ones with me. Thanks pals !

A memorable day..

2008-11-21T00:58:00.013+05:30

I spent the entire last night refreshing my gmail account, yeah partly because my bedmate, sadly a male, was snoring so loudly that I had already scrapped all my plans of sleeping early in the night and partly because this day was going to be a landmark one. Whom I had been courting for the last 3 years and had finally been able to propose sometime back and then had been asked to wait for another month for a decision was going to announce my fate today. Would she be mine finally? I was restless. The curtains downed at 10.43 am, Atlanta time, when not only she finally said YES but also offered to pay partly for her ring!

Oh, I love you 'my' ISB !

P.S.: Branching the thoughts from the point of my bedmate being a male, now that my days are spent comparing the American culture with our own, I was thinking that our Indian culture makes us weird kind of straights - For us Indian male bachelors, to share a bedroom with a male bachelor, always be seen in the company of males, and party only with males is seen perfactly natural by the Indian society, whereas this would be exactly the opposite in the US. Such behaviour here would clearly mean that we are not straight !

Culture conflict in my head..

How nine cans of beer screwed me..

2008-11-19T16:53:00.009+05:30

I didn't realize I had been asking so many questions. The friend whose home we (Rajesh and I) are staying at till we get our own lease done had nine cans of beer today and started talking after it got to his head.

- You are a new kid to the US. (Rajesh has been in the US for the last eight months, so I am the only kid in the house)
- It's not good to try to learn a lot too soon. You are asking many questions.
- Why should we bother about you. No, we wouldn't. You should be on your own.
- Things are very complicated man. You will find out. It's not easy buddy.
- Don't think too much at the same time.

And let me put a disclaimer that before, after, and between all those lines, I didn't speak a word. This was his idea of me in the two days of stay together that started pouring out automatically after all those beers. Man ! I guess I'll have to shut up a bit more.

Sodium in the US..

2008-11-19T16:28:00.005+05:30

After months of hanging between whether I should or should not, I finally forced myself to take this step..moving to the US. Till the last moment, I didn't really want to work abroad just for money or for the name of this country. But, I was thinking that before joining my MBA, it would be better to go out and see what the world is doing and how they are doing it. That would also help me in making a first hand practical decision whether to try for a job in India, Asia, or the west.

My first days in the US:

The intial phase seems to be over in two days. The phase of uncertainty and apprehensions about whether I really made a right decision. It's time now to experience. The work culture in the US differs somewhat from India, as everybody knows. The residential complexes are very comfortable. And I have never done serious cooking in my life so far, so that's something trying for me. But I have to thank my room-mate here for his culinary skills. He can cook most of the things and charging a premium for this speciality, he always asks me to cut the onion and cry with it for my ignorance. Realizing that otherwise I may not have anything to eat at all, I am also content with cutting all the vegetables in the first few days of my cooking practicals. Perhaps by the end of first month, I would be able to cook all these things myself, end-to-end, as we call it in our IT world. But I won't mind cutting onion for our dinner even then Rajesh. You have been of help.

The apartment complex is posh - A gym, a swimming pool, squash and badminton courts, and not just Indian residents. I value the last thing because when I have come this far, I want to experience the American life somewhat.

Phew ! Life has come a long way man. And everybody has been there. Rajesh said for himself today that he had never thought he would be in the US ever.

The Goal...

2008-10-18T01:51:00.000+05:30

When I was a child, I liked Sachin Tendulkar. I remember that I cut out and kept a photograph of him with Sir Don Bradman when the former went to meet the later on his 91^st birthday. I was a small kid then, incapable of achieving anything more than a first position in class, so I took a vicarious pleasure in the achievements of my heroes. As time passed and I grew up, a sense of tremendous self respect and independence began to take over. Now I wanted to achieve all such things myself and take pleasure in my own moments of glory.

I don’t follow cricket now and I care least about celebrities. Today, Sachin achieved the milestone of being the highest run getter in international test cricket and at night I happened to switch to a channel that was airing a live interview with him on his new achievement. I suddenly remembered those old moments when I cut that photograph and when I read an article about his upcoming 24^th birthday in the local Hindi daily, multiple times and so lovingly.

A sudden rush of emotions and a reminder of an old promise to the self – that is the league I have to belong to.

Hats Off Dad...

2008-10-18T01:49:00.001+05:30

I take different things from different people. As such, I don’t have any single role model. I take independence and patience from my father and I take truthfulness and honesty from my mother.

The other day, I was very disturbed about something related to office and he was perturbed seeing me like this. I was touched with his gesture when he sat with me for half an hour at night and told me how a few recent incidents he handled well had been potentially devastating, how such things happen with everybody and how we should take them in stride. For those few moments, I felt something I can’t put in words. He is not a man of exceptional achievements but I realized that every now and then he has had his moments – moments that went unidentified in this governmental bureaucratic machinery –that tell the tale of his exceptional qualities. I learnt a few things from him that day.

He went to sleep but as I thought what he had tried to tell me, I remembered something I had learned sometime back – you have something to learn from everyone.

Change...

2008-10-18T01:47:00.002+05:30

I don’t want to give MBA so much importance in my life as to write posts about every milestone in its way. This is just a course that gives one skills to succeed in business. I want to learn those skills. And yes, a few bits of personal growth that come with good diversity and competent faculty at a good B school. That’s all in it for me. I have brought myself out from the possibility of an unknown future into a phase where I see a glimmer of doing something in life. I need this education now to take myself to the level of a global leader.

I have never been inclined towards selling myself to people in interviews, neither for job nor for education. But in this fast paced, highly competitive world, all the selectors can know about a candidate is what he tells them about himself. I know this but I don’t practice this. I will have to accept it soon and behave accordingly. Though selling the self doesn’t seem fulfilling to me, for whatever end.

The recent interview that I had would be the last one where I didn’t even attempt to sell myself when I easily could. The selectors may easily have missed some aspects of my personality that could have defined my selection. Results would not be out for over a month and the likelihood is that of acceptance, despite an unsatisfactory interview performance from my side, but still, I feel that I need to change myself in this sense. And so I would. Today, my thoughts have both the sides. On one hand, one last satisfaction remains – that if I make it in this effort of mine then I will have been selected despite not having even shown the level of my true self. And then, on the other hand, I think that it would have been more satisfying if only I had shown my actual level of thoughts. The second thought predominates. That’s why I say that I would change myself now on in this sense.

All those clichés that I read in the books look so practical now. You never end learning throughout your life. And change is the way of life.

I am the common man and the news channels say this is what I need...

2008-10-05T14:14:00.003+05:30

Tell me how many of us would be willing to sell our house in that posh area when we have heard something about an approval in the waiting for a huge shopping mall in the area. Obviously the prices would shoot up and we would want to wait until the mall materializes. And that you wouldn't want to see your house being seized from your hands before you are dead doesn't even deserve a mention.

Now tell me, how much unjustified the farmers in that troubled state are when they complain that their land was seized against their wished and that they were paid for their land at the paltry rates prevailing before the proposed small car project. The media has been giving extensive coverage to the travails of the industrial house and all sympathy has tilted in the favor of the industry. Statements pertaining to the Brand of that state being tarnished because of the unfortunate exit of the manufacturer are rife. The accusations are all on the protesters. There is no doubt that the political leader of the resistance movement is baking her own bread in all this heat and that the responsibility of fair land acquisition doesn't completely lie with the prospective manufacturer, likes of who are generally allotted the land by the state government. But who is talking about the culpability of the state government in its unjust land acquisition policy! Why can't we expect the bureaucrats to look into the social research papers that suggest innovative measures as giving out shares into the profits, etc?

I put it on record here to express my take on our 'responsible' media. The media represents one of the most educated sections of this 1.1 billion large country and so much for all their post graduate and doctorate degrees; we can't even expect an independent opinion from a single representative on the issue. Everybody is harping on the one point general opinion, in favor of the industry. That when they hold regular debates on an inclusive national development to become a super power by 2020. And when the public opinion is whipped by this media, the repercussions can only be imagined. An entire national opinion skewed by unsymmetrical information feeds. I feel miserable. 15-Aug will come again next year and I would see all those slogans written by the young educated representatives of the nation on my office notice board again, mentioning how India makes them proud. I shudder at the thought.

Another thought struck my mind though. Just after the auto expo in Delhi this year, I saw an interview of the chairman of some government organization (I forgot the name of the lady). She raised concerns on the repercussions on the much touted small car project. Of course, the interview was neither re-telecast nor the concerns highlighted in the media to the level of making a public opinion.

For a moment let's forget our responsibility towards our environment and be selfish to only think about making human life more comfortable. You can count those on hands who expect any drastic improvement in the national infrastructure in the next 10 years. Please see the word drastic in proper light here. If the economy grows at 9 % then an infrastructure growth of 9 % would not be called drastic. It would just mean that the situation on road anytime in future would remain just as it is today. To make a noticeable difference, the actual growth in infrastructure would have to outpace that needed. And I don't see that happening anytime soon. In that light, imagine the current situation on roads worsened by those small cars replacing even a quarter scooters and bikes of today. Utter chaos. May be, until the infrastructure boom begins we can design cheaper and fuel efficient public transport. Affluence is not in every poor man owning a car, affluence is in every poor man earning enough to eat three-times-a-day meals, affluence is in him sending his child to school, affluence is in him being able to commute in the hassle free and faster public transport system, affluence is in him being assured of a quality health care, affluence is in him being assured of his human and civil rights, affluence is in him knowing that nobody can just seize his land below the marker price. Once we know this, we wouldn't give so much of airtime to something which doesn't even count in the priorities of social development.

And when you talk about the technical innovation, I don't see a substantial one here. The price tag is highly dependent on the ancillary units located around the plant. The only substantial achievement of this project seems to me in the area of logistics and supply chain management rather than in the area of technology. This is just a walmartization of the car manufacturing - concepts of retail supply chain optimization being applied to manufacturing.

But of course, we can't afford ignoring the environment today. The need of the hour is not to build an annual half a million more cars burning petrol at a much higher rate than that of two wheelers but to develop cars around a whole new concept involving solar energy, fuel cells, and what better than undrinkable water. Numerous other national and international players are expected to join the fray soon to cash in on the short term boom in the small car. I wish they would pool their resources to expedite the invention of such a concept car. That would be a technical feat, and a responsible one at that.

Otherwise how different this is from the short sighted phenomenon we saw on the Wall Street in the last few years that now led to the near demise of the international finance industry. The Americans went only after the short term profits and growth and here we see the same in automobile happening in India. Yes, there would be a big difference though. The short-sightedness there affected the artificial web of finance, woven by humans around the globe and the same here would affect the natural cover in multiple ways and irreversibly reduce the life span of the planet earth.

Thinking, anyone?

Kalyug..

2008-10-04T11:03:00.008+05:30

Something came up in the discussions of two frustrated engineers last night. I thought why not to write this one here.

तो साहब, अर्ज किया है -

एक वक्त था जब दोस्त कहते थे कि दोस्ती के लिए तो जान भी हाजिर है,

आज देखिये बीवी को जान कहते हैं, और मांगो तो मना करते हैं ...

Ways of the world..

2008-10-03T00:33:00.004+05:30

It does pinch a little. But anyways. This person was close to me. He was my project partner too in B.Tech. final year project. But apparantly, I was not that close to him. He is getting engaged on 6th and has called some other batchmates but didn't even inform me. I got the news from another common friend. Felt bad at the first moment. But when I thought for next few minutes about it, I really had no complaints with him. It's just one of those many equations at college when he was close to me but I wasn't to him. It's even right. I was a big stupid when at college.

Perhaps he would call me when he gets married soon. Perhaps.

I am not one of those who are offended or hurt by this. It's just that it feels weird. I was waiting for some time when my batch would start seeing marriages every month. The time is almost there. Another is getting engaged on 5th and married on 8th.

It had become us vs them...

2008-09-29T05:58:00.015+05:30

We fed them poison and killed them. When we couldn't find anyone to dispose off the bodies, my dad did that. The two mice had been to every corner of the house and had tried their teeth on every possible thing. They ate my chicken sweet corn soup from inside the packet, they ate the mathri with pickle from the luxery of my plate, and last few of my nights were always tortured by the memories of that time a few months back when one of their ancestors pulled out that stunt of climbing up my jeans, right up the back of my T-shirt (Gee, and I was IN that T-Shirt all the while thinking that one of my parents is playfully running a hand on my back, only to find them both before my eyes the next moment while 'someone' was still playfully teasing its fingers up my back), and jumping from the tip of the last hair on my forehead. Nobody would have believed me, had my mom also not seen it jumping at the last moment. That one would perhaps make a suitable match for a female mouse who has mentioned an adventure loving mouse as an ideal match on its orkut profile, well...

The recent ones had evolved even over that previous one in that they somehow always managed to eat the oiled bait I specially saved from my dinner every night and still never get into the mouse trap for a whole one month. They even avoided the cake poison that we put at 20 odd carefully chosen locations for two days. My dad had been gone out for about two hours in search of that poison cake the day before, when my mom made me wait for the evening tea because dad could return any moment. Eventually, we had no alternative but to make tempting dough balls tinged with cynide and I have to say now I have never seen such an example of customer satisfaction with any of the products on the market in recent years. I am going to write a testimonial to that cynide company today. Only four hours it took and they lay flat in the middle of the room. God bless the manufacturer.

My sister argued something about mouse rights, as in we shouldn't have killed those mice so mercilessly. Perhaps it's the affect of the company of this really beautiful girl in her class who has a pet mouse in her hostel room (Yes, a white one. But what the hell, it's still a mouse! And not as beautiful as stuart little or the girl owner herself) All her snaps on my sister's laptop are with her mouse only. I have been in predicament from some time about asking her out. How long I would be able to avoid not just meeting but pampering this Mr. Mouse if I get the prized opportunity to date her is anybody's guess! All right, you don't have to remind me that I don't have guts to ask her out anyway. Yeah, not just her but any girl. Okay, not even a not-so-pretty one. All right, that's enough, leave it now!

Naa jaane kabse...

2008-09-26T00:35:00.004+05:30

ख़ुद का इंसान बनाने में किताबों में कहीं ऐसा खो गया,

कि ज़िन्दगी की दोपहर तक का सफर न जाने कब गुज़र गया

दोपहर को जागा तो दुनिया बहुत बदल चुकी थी,
इंसान की नहीं, कीमत पैसे की हो चुकी थी

अब हर पल पैसे के पीछे भाग रहा हूँ,
आखिरी कुछ उम्मीदों के साथ जाती हुई धूप ताक रहा हूँ

कभी कुछ पल रुक कर कुछ ख्वाब सजा लिया करता हूँ,
बीता हुआ हर लम्हा तेरी परछाईं के साथ फ़िर बिता लिया करता हूँ

तेरी एक आहट का हर पल इंतज़ार करता हूँ,
ना जाने कब से मैं तुझसे प्यार करता हूँ...

Killer language...

2008-07-31T11:40:00.003+05:30

It would be unfair to the purpose of my blog if this one weren't put here..
These are the gems of language usage, most of them by the 'perpetrators' of education upon us !

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? "

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Class teacher once said :

" Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Once the Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Don't..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

" Why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Teacher in a furious mood...

Write down your name and father of your name!!

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
My manager started like this

"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"Will u hang that calender or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

************ ********* ********* ************ *
Librarian scolding the student," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Tomorrow call your parents, especially mother and father

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

************ ********* ********* ********* *****
Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

'Holy' Intentions..

2008-07-30T22:23:00.001+05:30

I went to my children today. On reaching there, I learned that some group of foreigners was expected there. So we didn't plan anything and just chatted. I learned the names of some more children, listened to a pre-nursary kid's ABCD song, and taught some geography in the map of India to a 10th grader. I didn't tell him that I myself never attempted any single question of map in my 10th board and got 69% marks in Geography. Would have given him a wrong signal..lol. Then I corrected a long time mistake of theirs. They always introduced themselves as "I am XYZ from PQR." Today I taught them to break this introduction up into two separate sentences - "I am XYZ. (And) I am from PQR."

I asked the caretaker what the foreigners did with children. They had been coming from previous 2 days. He told me that they taught songs and dance to children and did some activities. I was excited. It was definitely going to be a delight to see foreigners meeting these children who do not properly understand english. I wanted to see the expressions of both, the children and the visitors. We chatted and in about 15 minutes, the group came. They had a translator with them who was a teenager from India.

The excitement soon disappeared and to my disappointment, the group proved to be completely different from what I had expected. Apparantly they were spreading their religion. They had many papers with their prayers written on them, which they hung on the clothesline. They had their holy scriptures, some religious emblems, and other such things. All of them seemed to be the teachers of their religion. The children were following everything they were being told to do but only few were really listening.

While trying not to be judgemental, I was really in a predicament. What should take more weight - the fact that a religious institution is providing home to those children and looking after them or the fact that in return they are probably subtly trying to influence the choice of their religion. Perhaps the first. I enquired with some elder children of the place later. They told me that no explicit instructions or requests had ever been made to adopt the religion. But with what I saw there for 2 hours, you could affect any child's choice by teaching and showing such things to him at such a tender age (2-18 years). Of course affecting this choice is not a big cost when seen in the light of what they are giving to these children. Still, what pains me is the fact that religion really means so much to some highly educated people.

I have been born in an Indian Hindu family but still never believed in any religion. My mom and dad do daily prayers and inculcated in me as a child all the good religious habits but they never tried to grow me into a religious person unless I myself wanted to, which I didn't. Today I sit with them in all the major prayers but I do not really worship or go to a temple and they are fine with it. Because I am still a sensitive and caring person. I care for human beings, for life. Religion doesn't matter for me. And still I believe in a some power which is controlling such a mysterious thing called life. I believe in rebirth because some theories really make sense to me. But these have nothing to do with a particular faith. If the argument is to grow the children into responsible, and sensitive human beings, we can just explain to them the contradictions that point at some controlling force, without any bias of faith.

I respect this institution very much for what they are doing for these children but it disappointed me to discover that their intentions lack logic. Investing those 2 hours telling them about rebirth could have fascinated every one of them present there. Teaching religion would hardly add any value to their lives.

3 years in job..

2008-07-27T16:59:00.003+05:30

Today marks the completion of 3 years of my career. I am still a corporate baby but have matured from what I was 3 years ago when I joined my first company. I have grown in role from an Engineer-Trainee to a Business Analyst, not a bad performance !

The feeling of being independent is indeed invaluable. But a balance of work and life is still missing. I am still single and my parents perhaps expect more of their son's personal time. Perhaps it's time to start working on a balance as well.

Title awaited..

2008-07-27T16:54:00.002+05:30

Yesterday I went to attend the information session by the Indian School of Business at the Radisson, Noida. I guess the Radisson was chosen for icing the image cake of the school in our minds.

It rained at the last hour and drenched me completely. I even stopped under a shade for about 15 minutes but it refused to concede. Finally I had to take off in that downpour. The air conditioned hall of the Radisson didn't help of course and water kept dribbling from my clothes for the next 2 hours. Wet and shivering, I felt all the time as if I was sitting in a bathtub and frankly the feeling was discomforting with all those girls around.

Anyways, I attended the entire ISB information session from my bath seat, hoping that someone would notice my sincerity and would ask my name and application number. But sadly that didn't happen.

Straight out of the head..

2008-07-24T00:07:00.005+05:30

If you like me, raise your hands
If you don’t, raise your standards.

A hilarious phrase on the gtalk profile of one of my friends lightened up my mood for a moment.

A long time relationship had ended tonight for me. It wasn’t a tearful encounter or a formal break off. She just walked away from me, and knowingly for both, from my life. Just like that. There was no word of separation, just a dramatic turn of life. I wouldn’t say it’s not painful because it is. But last few months have taught me one thing very painfully – To respect the unknown forces of life even when it does not go your way. I am composed.

I had a very unfavorable and eventful childhood, yet I always preferred to think that I drove my life to a very large extent all those years, mainly because I was able to achieve a few important things against all odds with my single minded focus. But last few months, life has tossed me mercilessly. Some of those kicks have even been for eventual good as I see them now. Still, I am calling them all a little painful because none of them was according to my planning. Initially I resisted. I tried to snatch control. But this time it was unrelenting. It only increased its force.

The last few months, I have started looking at myself from outside my body, from somewhere in the corner of the room, as a lone pawn being moved by all those variables nobody has ever discovered. I still prefer working hard to challenge the odds but perhaps I know better than ever before when to respect those forces and wait for their next push. The realization makes things less painful at times.

Life at Point Blank...A World Far from Career and Economics

2008-06-26T23:22:00.012+05:30

I don't know what to write about them. They are a different world, world I didn't experience in my 25 years.

They are little. They are naive. They have smiles for everybody who smiles to them. But they have nobody who would tickle them for that smile. Many of them don't know who their parents are or were. Life is very different for them. But perhaps they don't feel the pain. Because to these little kids, life is like that only. They don't know its other ways. And they wouldn't miss it perhaps until they grow up. The pain of loss is felt only by someone who has had an experience of having. But to someone who never had it, its loss takes a long time to dawn.

I met them a couple of months back and felt a strange affection for them. They are so adorable ! They are not mature but they are so unlike ordinary kids of their age.

I went to see them today after 2 weeks. The schools do not open until July, so they were free. And together, we decided to do an impromptu dance competition. I had seen a white board in their home on my previous visits. So I asked them to bring it out. It became our score board. Some of them put a bed sheet on the floor. The caretakers brought two old computer speakers which someone had donated sometime. These attached to my laptop made our own DJ. Within minutes, we had a complete Boogie Woogie set ready !

We made 6 teams of 5 children each. The rest 20 children, including some big boys who were shy of performing, became the judges with me.

In the first round, the teams chose the songs of their performance. And in the second round they performed on a song of my choice, different for each team. All the songs were from Hindi movies and albums and were with fast beats for that extra excitement. Maximum marks were 30.

Chaos followed for more than 10 minutes as they decided their steps and because they were doing something like this for the first time.

And finally I shrieked on the top decibel to get it started.

So, here we are...Ladies and gentlemen, Presenting our very own...Boogie Woogie

The first performance...Mauja hi Mauja

Ladies special...Bole Churiyan

Lafanga party now !
The hilarious...Tau Hat Ja ! The red shirt literally elbowing all the little taus..

The gentle women - Kajrare Kajrare..

The audience :)

No time for camera..

Party heating up now..
The previously shy big boys rise from their judge seats, form an impromptu 7th team, and take the stage
Presenting - Kiya Kiya (Welcome)

And finally they pull me in on Just Chill Chill..
The caretaker demands the song 'Just Chiaow Chiaow' for his dance...It takes me some time to figure out the actual song - Just Chill Chill...

The caretakers on the left and right, don't keep their promise and leave me in the middle of the dance :O

Deepak (in Pink Shirt) comes to my rescue, matches steps with me..

Others also join in no time..

Towards the end of 2 and a half hours, while Tau was still dancing, we get the focus :)

It was amazing how they could imitate the actual dance steps in the song. They are gonna teach me some dance the next time I go there...I have taken the promise.

On Top Of My Little World...

2008-05-29T22:51:00.019+05:30

29-May-2008

Pearson Professional Centers
18, Ramnath House
Yusuf Sarai
New Delhi

Graduate Management Admission Test (GMAT)

Sodium Hydro Phosphate

Quantitative: 51
Percentile: 99

Verbal: 47
Percentile: 99

Total: 780 out of 800
Percentile: 99

Analytical Writing Assessment: 5.5 out of 6
Percentile: 83 out of a maximum of 89 at 6

My Big Day :)

--- To Yusuf Sarai - The first world of my second life ----

Silently I had promised to your streets
That I would not walk you just today
As an 11 year old, holding my mom-dad's hands,
weak with surgeries
Struggling for life

With a child's certainty
I had promised to you

That I would come back
On my own bike
With my own money
And with a control on my life

That I would walk your streets once again
In a very different form
And my head still high
With the same old attitude
That only I rule my life !

The one where Sodium was getting married..

2008-05-07T14:28:00.002+05:30

In a post written on the marriage anniversary of my parents, I had demanded of them, in jest, the recruitment of new entrants to our home.

My parents took a cue and began hunting actively for a fitting candidate. Soon they started bringing me multiple proposals a day and as I was not really very keen on marrying for sometime still, I turned down all of them. But they were not deterred and their search continued. One day I had a long discussion with my parents on this because I could see they were spending a lot of their time and energy on that. Even they wanted the things to materialize. So, we reached a deal. I was to accept one of the fitting proposals now and would get engaged but marriage would not happen for the next two years. In a few weeks, I gave my consent for one of the proposals brought to me by them. They tallied the birth documents and fixed a date for two years later. In a few months, I got busy with my work and career and forgot all about it (Yes, I did forget it completely). And since I was not living with my parents because my job took me away from home, I didn't know that they had started the preparations 6 months in advance. I was reminded of the approaching occasion only a couple of months in advance. I had neither seen the photograph of my finacee nor had a single word with her since I gave my assent to the proposal. And then I thought I was not like it. Perhaps I had been so busy with my career that I didn't realize that along the way I had not been the same. I thought if I had waited this long to talk to her, why not wait untill marriage then.

I took the leave only a week before my marriage and went home. The preparations were in full swing and everything had been done. I was only to sit and wait to be the second chief guest at my marriage (the first one was the bride of course). And then all the ceremonies happened..the haldi, the mehendi, etc. With only one day to spare, I decided to see my fiancee finally. They had come in the town and were staying at the marriage home hotel. But a meeting of the bride and groom a day before marriage wasn't allowed according to our customs. So I decided to ask my sister to show me the photographs.

The shock came when I saw the photographs. This was precisely what I had feared all my life. And I had no idea how I had let this happen. My fiancee held some unknown degree from some small town and had not been able to find a job after her graduation. She had the looks of an uneducated villager. Her mom resembled my house maid in the way she dressed which was probably the future look of her daughter. When I asked my mom about how she spoke, my mom told me she had a loud and shrill voice and an unsophisticated accent. The sky fell on me. All the preparations were in place. Every single relative from both sides had come. The next day was my marriage and here I was, wishing I could go back in time somehow, find out how this happened and change the course of things. But there was no way now. If I did anything now the other side would not let us go easily. We all would be on national television the next day with breaking news banner showing above all our heads. And who knows if they would resort to violence as well before turning us to the television crew. My fate was sealed. I was almost chocking. My thoughts were that the next day I was going to marry a girl who would be my life partner for about next 40 years and I wouldn't be able to share a single intelligent conversation with her on my dinner table. I wished I would wake up and find it all only a horrible dream.

And then, INDEED I woke up. This had been a dream. And I realized how small my problems are as compared to what worse can happen to me.

A 'Laplase transform' on sodium's life in the waiting..

2008-05-07T14:02:00.005+05:30

My life has become a differential equation in complex numbers.

The first part means the external and the unknown variables of the universe affect my life's value.

And the second part implies that my life has both, the real and the imaginary components.

The components of the real part take their values from the domain

WORK = {Office, CAT, GMAT, Social Networking Site, ...}

and those of the imaginary part take their values from the domain

FUN = {Girls, Dating, Love, Promotions, MBA, A Respectable job, Money, ...}

And all the time I am trying to integrate this differential equation to introduce a new constant, preferably from the imaginary part, in each integration step...so that my life gets some pleasant predictability at least.

Happy Marriage Anniversary to Mummy - Daddy :)

2008-05-06T13:47:00.004+05:30

Today is the marriage anniversary of Sodium's Mummy and Papa.

Many Many happy returns of the day Mummy Daddy :)

We are indebted to you for all the love you have showered on us and for the person we have become because of the environment created around us by you. And we and the future recruits need your blessings for a long long time to come.

So, our demands would not end. Close is the time when you turn recruiters and use your experience in bringing in the best recruits available.

(A note to my cousins who might read it - This sentence is not to be used to pull my leg ! Thanks)

The atheist in Sodium..

2008-05-06T13:43:00.004+05:30

An atheist sinner was going through a rough patch in life. Many of his well-wishers suggested him to take a bath in the holy river of Ganga to get rid of his sins. He asked everybody of them how it would work, what would rid him of his sins by taking a bath in the waters of the river Ganga. But nobody could answer him, not even prestigious saints. Eventually, after facing a lot of personal problems and driven by despair, he went to Hardwar to take bath in the holy river of Ganga. He took a long dip in the freezing water and chanted some lines he remembered his mother teaching him when he was a child. After the bath, propped against a wall, legs crossed, he sat in a corner on the steps of the river ghat, in bright sunlight, and began thinking about how this might possibly help him. Fatigue of a long journey, and the bright sunlight after a bath in chilling water quickly lulled him into sleep. When he woke up, he found himself before Lord Shiva, the greatest God in Hindu religion, on the Great Mountain of Kailash which, in the scriptures of Hindu mythology, has been told to be his home. The man was confused and surprised. He hadn't been sure if all this exists somewhere. Now that he was witnessing this, he asked Lord Shiva, what no-one on earth had been able to answer him. To his surprise, he found a blank expression on Lord Shiva's face. The God told him that even he had no idea how taking a bath in the holy rivers of Ganga could rid the man of his sins. Then the God suggested him to ask this to Lord Brahma, the creator of life and the universe according to Hindu scriptures, and offered the man a ride to Lord Brahma's Lotus flower with him. In a moment they were before Lord Brahma. Seeing Lord Shiva there, Brahma stood up in his flower in respect and bowed to him. Shiva asked the man to pose his question to Lord Brahma. The man obeyed and was even more surprised to watch a blank look on Brahma's face as well. So, my doubts about the abilities of Gods have indeed been correct, the man thought in sadness. He was sad at the way his poor fellow men were deluding themselves with the divine powers of God when the truth was that even Gods had no idea of the guiding force behind life. He wondered what actually the guiding force was then. The train of his thoughts was broken when, seeing him sad and hopeless, the two Lords offered to take him to Lord Vishnu, the third of the trinity of the greatest Gods in the Hindu mythology, to ask his question. The man was not very hopeful but he thought why not to see the ground realities there as well. If two of them are not worth their name, the third would only complement them. Why not to see the whole reality so that he can go down there and tell some sensible people what lay behind all those putative holy scriptures of Hindu mythology. The three of them went to the deepest depths of the Oceans to see Lord Vishnu. Lord Vishnu was delighted with this sudden visit of Brahma and Shiva and they bowed to each other. Shiva asked the man to pose his question to Lord Vishnu. The man repeated his question to Lord Vishnu, already anticipating the same blank face the other two had drawn. He had accidently discovered the ground realities of the ancient scriptures and whatever little belief he had had in the Gods, the putative creators of this world, had shattered. Mythology was after all derived from Myth. The holiest saints of the world and the writers of the holy Hindu scriptures were as far away from the reality as he had been as an atheist. But that was not to be. He was jolted out of his thoughts as Lord Vishnu slapped him on his face. He saw that Lord Shiva (also called Mahesh) and Lord Brahma had moved to the sides of Lord Vishnu. The halo behind them was blinding. Lord Vishnu was telling him "You couldn't have been more stupid. You are witnessing the corporeal presence of the trinity of Brahma, Vishnu, and Mahesh and are still asking how a bath in the holy waters of Ganga could rid you of your sins!"

The brightness of the halo had blinded his vision. The man couldn't see the three deities any longer. He put his hand on his eyes to block the enormous light blinding them. He felt that the water of the ocean at the ocean bed had become cooler and a chill was rising from his legs up his spine and making him shiver. Suddenly he shook. The priest on the river shore was waking him up. The water level in Ganga had risen and had half submerged the step on which he was sleeping. A long time had passed and the sun was high up in the middle of the sky, its light penetrating his closed eye lids. It took him sometime to gain consciousness. It had been a deep sleep but perhaps he had woken up eventually. Perhaps the water in the Ganga had risen to wash him off his sins in the presence of Brahma, Vishnu, and Mahesh. Perhaps the sunlight had been blinding because a curtain before his eyes had been lifted. Perhaps this was the time to start life afresh.

Those who dare..

2008-05-06T13:17:00.004+05:30

The exam asked this guy to write a 3 page essay on 'This is how I dare destiny...'

The guy left the 3 pages blank and wrote at the end of third page:

'This is how I dare destiny...'

He was called for an interview. He sat calmly as the interviewer, an eminent U.P. cadre IAS officer, examined his face. The guy had not shaved and had come for the interview in a stubble.
The interviewer asked him
'Have you done so to hide your personality ?'

The guy replied:

'No Sir, I have done so to REVEAL my personality'

The guy was an IIT graduate and had snubbed a job offer from a reputed MNC in the pre-IT boom era to prepare for the Civil Services exam.

'And he was selected for U.P. cadre,' told that eminent IAS interviewer to me when I went to see him for suggestions on the preparation for the Civil Services exam in my 3rd year of mechanical engineering.

The officer went on..

'And you know this guy had prepared the entire year after snubbing that MNC job offer and still when he saw this essay topic, he decided not to sing songs of his attitude but to do something that was intrinsic to his nature. A moment had been when he weighed whether to write some narrative from this life or to do something which would become a narrative of it's own for others to share. And for such people, risk is not a word they learn from the dictionary. They act. And when they act, there are no limits. You IITians have an edge in the IAS preparation in that.'

I couldn't have agreed more. But his opinion for the IITians needs to be put in right order.

It's not the IIT that makes such people, but it's such people that go to places like the IIT and make IIT the place it is.

As pointed out by someone..

'IIT is not a place. It's a way of life.'

Inherently Inclined to Think Innovative, Ambitious and Novel..

2008-04-16T11:43:00.006+05:30

That's what an IITian is.. Inherently Inclined to Think Innovative, Ambitious and Novel

And he has long been criticized for squandering the tax-payer's money on the subsidy to his education. But haven't even those who have left the profession- for finance, for management, and even more unrelated areas - imbibed a confidence in the environment around them that is fast becoming an introduction to India's potential.

Look what Sameer Kohli, who graduated in Mechanical Engineering from IIT Delhi in 1993 and has been involved in the scripting and direction of Yahaan and Samay — When Time Strikes has to say:

“Initially, after moving to the world of entertainment, I did feel guilty about having squandered the country’s resources which gave me a top-class engineering education.”

“Today I realize that IIT is not just about an engineering course, it is about the structure and discipline of life. If I, as an individual, can make a difference in the way films and television commercials are made, then I am sure the country’s investment on me is not a write-off.”

My Introduction to Shayeri..

2008-04-14T22:29:00.006+05:30

The first sher I heard was in the early 90's from the movie 'Sajan' and the character of the writer in the movie was a successful businessman who wrote shayeri in his free time. Immediately the idea became my favourite. And the sher holds a special place in my heart. It would be unfair if it doesn't feature on this blog of mine. So let me pay a tribute to..

Taqdeer banaane wale tune kami na ki
Taqdeer banaane wale tune kami na ki..

Ab kisko kya mila yeh mukaddar ki baat hai.

A tribute to my feelings...

2008-04-09T16:06:00.007+05:30

Chaha hai tumko ek arse ke baad humne
Sajaya hai dil mein fir aaj ek armaan humne
Sadharan sa woh chehra aur sadharan si kad-kathi
Jagaya hai dil mein fir bhi aaj ek armaan tumne
Keh doon yeh kaise teri aankhon mein aankhe leke
Inhi mein to chupaya hai tujhe khone ka darr bhi humne

Falling from the seventh sky..

2008-04-04T17:07:00.003+05:30

She ignored.

But last 24 hours would remain a wonderful memory..

Yaaro sab duaaa karo...

2008-04-03T20:41:00.009+05:30

For the first time in 4 years, Sodium has asked a girl out...

Will she
Will she not !

It's for such moments that we live, when we appreciate how beautiful life is, how thrilling its every turn !

Once in a lifetime...

2008-03-28T21:13:00.021+05:30

"Congrats to Devesh for cracking Harvard."

I stared at Madhur's status line in my Gtalk window in disbelief. Disbelief because all through, despite my fighting spirit, I had somehow accepted that it's not the likes of me who go to Harvard. And yet he was just like me. I saw him maturing from a 17 year old carefree adolescent to a 21 year old, still carefree, engineer. All I remember about him is his ever smiling face. Nothing seemed to perturb him enough to take that smile away from him, be it a semester exam screw-up or seeing his batch mate dating this eye candy when all he did was hanging out in the civil lines with his SAE executive committee members, and I have reason to believe that he did have some trampled feelings for all those few candies of architecture around.

It was a delight and in a moment he changed my perspective. It was 27-Mar-08 and it was a renaissance, a new desire with a renewed faith in the possibilities that lie ahead when all that is needed is a will to venture into the unknown.

Once again, I promise myself to live by the standards I had set for myself when I was a very small child, a 11 year old who had just recovered from a prolonged terminal illness and was secretly setting out on his course to pay back his parents for all they had lost on his little, uncertain life.

It's human to grieve over the time lost but today I try to tell myself...

Girte hain shehsawar hi maidan-e-jung mein
Woh tifra kya gire jo ghutno ke bal chale !

I wish...

2008-03-18T22:52:00.005+05:30

I know I deserve you.
I just wish I could make it to you in time.

..
..
..
..
..
..

Girl...who? She is that degree I want.

For you, a thousand times over...

2008-03-17T21:38:00.004+05:30

On that first night...

Make morning into a key and throw it into the well,
Go slowly, my lovely moon, go slowly.
Let the morning sun forget to rise in the east,
Go slowly, my lovely moon, go slowly.

It's late my dear, come home now...

2008-03-17T20:56:00.009+05:30

I want you soft
as the morning breeze,
Your fragrance
as a budding rose's,
Your beauty
as a child's dream,
Your strength that of steel
for I need your support through the times,
And I ask for your unconditional love
a mere human I am, not infallible,

In return, I promise
not to ask for even my share of my half,
My better one or my worse
You will be all I'll have.

That means I am religious afterall...

2008-03-09T23:53:00.003+05:30

Mathematics is a religion.
That a number multiplied by 1 will give the unit digit of the product as that in the number itself is something you were told to accept without questions. Just as you were told to believe in 'his' existance without questions.
That's why it's very much a religion. Or else what reason can you cite for 2 plus 3 being 5?

That your mumma told you so when you were young?
That Ms. Farzana told it to you at Greenwood Public School?

But you just believe it, don't you ! As much as you believe that someone exists who made this logical living system.

That's why most dissenters find it a religion. And it is the only religion that has been free from violence and dispute through the ages. It's the religion practiced by the largest number of people. And it's most logical of them all. Once you start believing some of its basic prophecies, everything begins to follow logically.

What to do in the 'Red Light' area...

2008-02-29T21:19:00.005+05:30

It's been 2 years to me traveling 12 Kms to office and back home everyday and whereas it was hectic in the beginning, I accepted it in due course of time. That was when I started observing other people on my way. And by now, thanks to the observer in me, I have about half a dozen trends on my book.

Whereas a few of them are disturbing, the most recent one is the funniest. So, if you feel bored waiting on traffic signals, this funny one would help you enjoy your time on the red lights. Oh yes, you would be able to observe it only on two conditions. One, you are in one of those tier 2 cities like NOIDA that have started to have some organized traffic but still don't have proper traffic law enforcement system. Two, you yourself wait for the traffic light to turn green before you cross the signal. Of course, we both know that you do. I just mentioned the second point for the sake of completeness.

And let's not forget that the people in such cities are mostly middle class educated ones, true ambassadors of Indian culture. This poor creature's observation is about the behaviour of those ambassadors on traffic signals in such places. It's frighteningly simple to observe and is, somewhere, a menifestation of a child in all of us.

When the signal is red and the timer beside it shows more than about 40 seconds, you may easily notice even the slow ones hesitantly seeing both ways and jumping it as if it doesn't exist. 'Well, what the hell, if I wait for it I'll be late for my daughter's tuition classes. And anyway the road is not very busy at the moment', is perhaps what goes on in their minds.
On the contrary, when it shows less than about 15 seconds, even the speediest of those responsible dad's would screech the brakes obediently. You might find them even respecting the zebra crossing at such instances. Needless to say, a sense of self righteousness or may be a contentment with fulfillment of their duties as a citizen of the country is what inflates them with self-pride at such moments.

I tried to observe the behaviour for between 15 and 40 seconds too but couldn't make out any specific trend. If you can, please don't forget to put me a comment here. Will you !

Sodium's Self Realization...

2008-02-29T21:14:00.006+05:30

There are only two types of IITians :

Those who have brains...
...I belong to the other ones !

The sky is falling....

2008-02-23T10:38:00.004+05:30

Things happen. They happen with everybody. The world is not trying to zero in on me. That's what I keep assuring me these days. Why, sample my days.

I am in Gym in the morning. Get to see Rohit after quite a few days there. So does he. I am doing my set so can't say hi. He comes to me and
"Hi"
"Hey hi" I say with effort because I am towards the end of my set.
"Say buddy! What's going"
"Biceps and Triceps dude" I say putting the barbell down.
"I was asking as in life you loser ! Do you tell everyone such replies when they ask you what's up" he snaps taking out his shirt.
He sometimes makes you feel as if you are the biggest of them all...idiots, of course.

And just the next day I am doing Pullovers in Chest. Rohit enters again.
"Hey. Whoa so heavy ! So ! It's legs today?"
I drop the weight midway, without finishing my set. It's more a shock than surprise.
Now now, if someone can call such an obvious chest exercise as a pullover a leg exercise then where in hell did he have any right to call me a loser the previous day !

A few hours later, I am in office. The bachelor party is discussing the grave subject of singles vs committed. The conclusion after about half an hour of debate, more serious than any project meeting I have ever attended there, was that girls like committed guys because they must have something in them which attracted somebody enough to commit herself to them.

I am a quick learner. People have always told me that. Now what would you expect from such a person after this debate. I come and change my relationship status on my profile on the social networking site to 'Committed'.
And guess what. This girl I met at a party a few days back and had been trying to flirt with for sometime now, writes to me
"Hey what's the surprise? You got someone at last ! Who is the lucky girl? So now I have nothing to fear from you and we can keep in touch. You won't mind me calling you a bhaiya ! Hai na !"
I celebrated a black day that day.

'Original Sodium'...

2008-02-10T09:12:00.000+05:30

I hold product designers and campaigners in high regard because their mind works 24x7 for new ideas and most of the good ones play with human psychology. But this one has been perplexing me for some time recently.

Here is one new-comer to my gym whose jacket always brandishes the label of 'Original Nike'. One big mouth in my office also sports something which displays another 'Original' attached to its name. This is not very uncommon in branded apparels these days. Perhaps you have guessed by now that what catches this poor observer's eye is this word - 'Original'.
It's been attached to the actual brand name as if the fake ones would have ethics enough not to attach this to their own stickers or tags. And in that light, I wonder how this benefits any of the two, the manufacturer and the customer.

Similar is the case with holograms. I see so many books having a fancy line written on their cover page to the effect of warning the customer not to purchase the product if it doesn't have such and such hologram. Now what use is this? Are the publishers assuming here that the fake ones are stupid enough to print this kind of line on their fake copies of the same book and still not attach an almost similar hologram ! Who, anyway, ever 'wastes' his effort in looking at the hologram from 3 different angles to see if it indeed shows up that publishing house name in 3-D. And in the end, after all, it should not be too difficult for the fakes to get the hologram copied as well.

I would be obliged if any of you product designers or amateur observers could find some time to enlighten this poor observer on this, if you yourself happen to be more fortunate than me to have its answer.

Mirchi sunne waale always...

2008-01-22T21:19:00.001+05:30

I have been away from my blog for quite sometime and a lot has been happening all the while. There are things we don't speak of now which led to this hiatus in my blogging activity. But this incident today was enough to goad me into writing about it here.

They shouldn't be allowed to run Gyms if they can't even put the latest music CD in the player. To avoid the inconvenience of keeping track of all the latest hits, they tune it to Radio Mirchi. And even that's perfectly fine with us until they (Mirchi) play only the latest hits. But what's the fun if everything in this world went as expected. The problem arose when this fun of theirs took its toll on 3 unsuspecting knees and one innocent elbow.

I was doing the routine chin-ups as part of my warm up in the gym when this 'Hasi ke favvare with Sud' happened. Nobody cared. It comes daily with its usual dose of PJs, those everybody has been hearing since his childhood. I continued with my chin-ups. Saurav continued with his shoulder front rod. Akki with his reverse squats. And Sukh with his bench press.

And in absence of any protest from any of us, Sud also continued with the second last joke on Page number 9 of Hasi Ke Favvare.

Madam to Suresh: Birds which fly in the sky lay eggs. Mammals which live on the land give birth to young ones. Now who is that which flies in the sky but gives birth to its young ones on the land.

Suresh, as he told us, waited for a few seconds, perhaps thinking of the best possible answer of a tough tie between several choices. And then came up with his best possible answer:

..
..
..

Madam, Air-Hostess !!

Silence for a moment.

Of course, there is a reaction time to things, especially when you are expecting just another PJ. But you need to have extraordinary control over yourself to make use of this reaction time to save yourself from the imminent misery afterwards and all of us were mere mortals.

All hell broke loose.

My arms lost strength momentarily as I struggled to fight hysterical laughter and my knee hit the support below, throwing me into a huddle of cry and hysteria. Saurav couldn't keep the rod in the air and it came down crashing right on his knees. Akki brought the thigh press down and couldn't lift it up again. And it was difficult to tell the louder one between the sound made by his knees and that by his mouth. Sukh, it seemed, tried to control himself better than any of us and had almost succeeded when he gave in to all the things happening to us and brought down his 45 Kg rod at lightening speed on his chest instead of balancing it on the bench support behind. His elbow played the hero in trying to save his chest and cramped itself in the process.

It took moments. It was like everybody going through his daily chores when suddenly an earthquake shakes the foundation of their homes and you can imagine the scenes afterwards.

But it was not an earthquake. So Mirchi house foundations were intact. And the last thing we heard them playing was "Mirchi sunne waale always khush, always khush !!

Of Course ! What else would you be when you don't have to go to office for the next one week with such a genuine reason !

The simplest philosophy to lead you to success...

2008-01-06T21:01:00.001+05:30

"In life go straight and turn right"

-- From one of my heros

Love and Physics is a lethel combination, I tell you...

2007-12-20T22:47:00.001+05:30

My mom always remembered her friends' birthdays. But my dad anyways never assigned so much importance to birthdays and his parents didn't remember his exact date either. And in my childhood, my friends maintained a red diary on birthdays and checked it every week for the birthdays falling in that week. I never did because I was inspired by my dad. It was my girlfriend (Yes I have had that honour, only to be revoked later) who drummed the value of a birthday into my head.

"You would always remain a Ganwar. How the hell would a girl bear with you all her life !" she would say. And this was one sentence that really freaked me out. I tried to be my smartest self with her and she would so blatantly mock my efforts at smartness.

"What a birthday really marks is an integral number of rounds around the sun. What the hell special about completing a circle around the sun ! And anyway it reduces your life expectancy every time it comes !" I argued.

"You IITians are real idiots !" another sentence to freak me to the hell's limit. In those moments, I hated those idiot IITians who don't know how to talk to a girl and bring bad name to all their brethren. I worked so hard to show her that I didn't give a damn to studies (Which I am paying for badly till date ! ).

"But tell me what the hell is wrong here !"

"In the entire year, this day is yours Mr. Idiot !"

And that day it was her birthday when we were sitting in the stadium after being chased from everywhere we tried to find some solitude and she was checking her mobile for any new birthday wishes from friends. It was about 8.30 night and just 3.30 hours left of her birthday.

"All are bad. 7 of my bestest friends ( ??? Girls' jargon for a friend whom they haven't fought with in the past week, I found out) haven't wished me. Last time too 5 of them recalled it only the next morning. How mean they all are ! "

Man ! When you are in love, the tears of your girlfriend are the hardest thing to bear.

"Hey cheer up dear. Let me tell you something. Look at it this way. You were born in Feb 1984 and that was a leap year. Now this year is 2004 and is again a leap year. The last leap year was 2000. Now between Feb 2000 and Feb 2004, the lag in calender has been one full day for which the correction would be made with one extra day in this month this year. So that means if you look at it from cosmological point of view, your Birthday is not today. It's closer to tomorrow ! And all those friends who have wished you today have, in fact, wished you on the wrong day. The real friends would be the ones who would wish you tomorrow. " Of course, before saying all this 'logic' I had mentally checked my calender for the next day to see if I would be available to wish her the next day too.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that ?" I asked, bewildered and apprehended of something terrible coming my way.
"Hey where are you going. Listen !"

It was a tough, trying day of my life and the last time when I argued about it before I started believing in Birthdays.

My birthday is my day of the year !

So all you morons who wouldn't wish me today, can still do so more accurately. I was dispatched to earth in 1982. 2 years later was the leap year. Now 2008 is leap year. And since 4 years constitute a lag of one day in a human calendar year in S.I. system, the lag in actual 25 rounds of mine around the burning ball has been a little less than half a day now. Next year is a leap year. My 25th round would actually be completed sometime tomorrow.

Hey who's that ! Now who called me an idiot here !

At 25 ...

2007-12-20T00:31:00.001+05:30

A man of 25 or a boy of 25 !
Whatever.
It's official now. Sodium is 25 !

It feels different from different angles. At office, I feel young. At my home, a bachelor's room, I feel old. In Gym, I feel young. Alone in malls where couples hang all around, I feel old.

But when I think about it, I realize that perhaps I am in the most beautiful phase of my life. In the most comfortable part of the life's journey. I should be living this day to it's value. This is something I am gonna remember tomorrow.

Thank you life. For making me what I am. For giving me what I have. I may complain about what I miss but all the time I am aware of what I have got.

If you were to grant me one wish as a Birthday gift today, please show me the way to enjoy every moment. Thanks :)

One fine evening...(an idiot speaks rationally !)

2007-12-17T01:21:00.001+05:30

I saw him first in my visitors file
when in innocent arrogance
I wandered carelessly to his profile
perhaps to find there one new idiot
checking people's profiles and living in rut

but awestruck I saw him,

such handsome, tall, and sturdily built
giving committed girls a sharp pang of guilt
here I talk to him but look at my fate
no feelings man.. I am straight !!

hidden in the clutter was that awesome treasure
which I spent perusing through at my night's leisure
the blog had words
but never had the words rhymed to so much of thought
a serenity of senses which hitherto only a legend brought
some people seem to get it all
they don't intend to but you feel small

and guess what's more
the guy even has a 750 GMAT score

It's all in the timing, as I say, some people get it all
unlike my case when the God's printer was perhaps off for an overhaul !

The shopper's syndrome

2007-12-16T23:59:00.000+05:30

When in a clothes store
u see numerous shelves
and find that for each design you choose
your size is not available
then that's what's called the shopper's syndrome

for if you stand out of your body
and observe that mysterious creature
you would find him going through the heaps of designs
to see if each of them contains his own size
and if one is unavailable for his own
then subconsciously for him, that was the one he wouldn't have missed otherwise !

This social set up is flawed ! huh...

2007-12-08T15:35:00.000+05:30

She started dating someone else when I could not speak to her when she sat before me on my table in the office canteen, leaving about 50 vacant tables around. Hell...if only I had spoken to her that day. 'The R-Factor' is happily married now.

I have got to find some explanation for all these tragedies to preserve my sanity (You wish I had prefixed that with -in ! Yeah ? Hold that pal. The Indian constitutions doesn't explicitly grant you the right to freedom of wish. And this wish of yours goes as far as to infringe upon my self respect. I could sue you for that in the court of justice to realise my right to constitutional remedies !) . Huh...Perhaps the printer was out of order or the toner ran out of ink when it was my turn to receive the paper of luck. And he dispatched me to earth with a blank sheet in hand. Sure da...do I have a choice against you!

But given a choice against this syndicate of humans who have formed a nonsensical social set up, I would make it a democracy. You should have a chance of voting your incumbent parents out of power when you are dissatisfied with the way you are being reared or when they start ignoring your teenage hu-'man' rights (!!!) ! Democracy and regular elections would not only give them an incentive to rear you better but would also let you elect the likes of Akshay Kumar for dad when you reach your teens so that you can learn the 101 ways of, you know, well...at least ask that gorgeous 'R-factor' out.

Eh...that argumentative Indian in me !

Know thy self

2007-11-28T18:27:00.000+05:30

Destiny is the child of competency and capacity...

The better your competency and capacity complement each other, the more beautiful the child !

-- Sodium