Straight out of the head..

If you like me, raise your hands
If you don’t, raise your standards.

A hilarious phrase on the gtalk profile of one of my friends lightened up my mood for a moment.

A long time relationship had ended tonight for me. It wasn’t a tearful encounter or a formal break off. She just walked away from me, and knowingly for both, from my life. Just like that. There was no word of separation, just a dramatic turn of life. I wouldn’t say it’s not painful because it is. But last few months have taught me one thing very painfully – To respect the unknown forces of life even when it does not go your way. I am composed.

I had a very unfavorable and eventful childhood, yet I always preferred to think that I drove my life to a very large extent all those years, mainly because I was able to achieve a few important things against all odds with my single minded focus. But last few months, life has tossed me mercilessly. Some of those kicks have even been for eventual good as I see them now. Still, I am calling them all a little painful because none of them was according to my planning. Initially I resisted. I tried to snatch control. But this time it was unrelenting. It only increased its force.

The last few months, I have started looking at myself from outside my body, from somewhere in the corner of the room, as a lone pawn being moved by all those variables nobody has ever discovered. I still prefer working hard to challenge the odds but perhaps I know better than ever before when to respect those forces and wait for their next push. The realization makes things less painful at times.