Love and Physics is a lethel combination, I tell you...

My mom always remembered her friends' birthdays. But my dad anyways never assigned so much importance to birthdays and his parents didn't remember his exact date either. And in my childhood, my friends maintained a red diary on birthdays and checked it every week for the birthdays falling in that week. I never did because I was inspired by my dad. It was my girlfriend (Yes I have had that honour, only to be revoked later) who drummed the value of a birthday into my head.

"You would always remain a Ganwar. How the hell would a girl bear with you all her life !" she would say. And this was one sentence that really freaked me out. I tried to be my smartest self with her and she would so blatantly mock my efforts at smartness.

"What a birthday really marks is an integral number of rounds around the sun. What the hell special about completing a circle around the sun ! And anyway it reduces your life expectancy every time it comes !" I argued.

"You IITians are real idiots !" another sentence to freak me to the hell's limit. In those moments, I hated those idiot IITians who don't know how to talk to a girl and bring bad name to all their brethren. I worked so hard to show her that I didn't give a damn to studies (Which I am paying for badly till date ! ).

"But tell me what the hell is wrong here !"

"In the entire year, this day is yours Mr. Idiot !"

And that day it was her birthday when we were sitting in the stadium after being chased from everywhere we tried to find some solitude and she was checking her mobile for any new birthday wishes from friends. It was about 8.30 night and just 3.30 hours left of her birthday.

"All are bad. 7 of my bestest friends ( ??? Girls' jargon for a friend whom they haven't fought with in the past week, I found out) haven't wished me. Last time too 5 of them recalled it only the next morning. How mean they all are ! "

Man ! When you are in love, the tears of your girlfriend are the hardest thing to bear.

"Hey cheer up dear. Let me tell you something. Look at it this way. You were born in Feb 1984 and that was a leap year. Now this year is 2004 and is again a leap year. The last leap year was 2000. Now between Feb 2000 and Feb 2004, the lag in calender has been one full day for which the correction would be made with one extra day in this month this year. So that means if you look at it from cosmological point of view, your Birthday is not today. It's closer to tomorrow ! And all those friends who have wished you today have, in fact, wished you on the wrong day. The real friends would be the ones who would wish you tomorrow. " Of course, before saying all this 'logic' I had mentally checked my calender for the next day to see if I would be available to wish her the next day too.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that ?" I asked, bewildered and apprehended of something terrible coming my way.
"Hey where are you going. Listen !"

It was a tough, trying day of my life and the last time when I argued about it before I started believing in Birthdays.

My birthday is my day of the year !

So all you morons who wouldn't wish me today, can still do so more accurately. I was dispatched to earth in 1982. 2 years later was the leap year. Now 2008 is leap year. And since 4 years constitute a lag of one day in a human calendar year in S.I. system, the lag in actual 25 rounds of mine around the burning ball has been a little less than half a day now. Next year is a leap year. My 25th round would actually be completed sometime tomorrow.

Hey who's that ! Now who called me an idiot here !

At 25 ...

A man of 25 or a boy of 25 !
Whatever.
It's official now. Sodium is 25 !

It feels different from different angles. At office, I feel young. At my home, a bachelor's room, I feel old. In Gym, I feel young. Alone in malls where couples hang all around, I feel old.

But when I think about it, I realize that perhaps I am in the most beautiful phase of my life. In the most comfortable part of the life's journey. I should be living this day to it's value. This is something I am gonna remember tomorrow.

Thank you life. For making me what I am. For giving me what I have. I may complain about what I miss but all the time I am aware of what I have got.

If you were to grant me one wish as a Birthday gift today, please show me the way to enjoy every moment. Thanks :)

One fine evening...(an idiot speaks rationally !)

I saw him first in my visitors file
when in innocent arrogance
I wandered carelessly to his profile
perhaps to find there one new idiot
checking people's profiles and living in rut

but awestruck I saw him,

such handsome, tall, and sturdily built
giving committed girls a sharp pang of guilt
here I talk to him but look at my fate
no feelings man.. I am straight !!

hidden in the clutter was that awesome treasure
which I spent perusing through at my night's leisure
the blog had words
but never had the words rhymed to so much of thought
a serenity of senses which hitherto only a legend brought
some people seem to get it all
they don't intend to but you feel small

and guess what's more
the guy even has a 750 GMAT score

It's all in the timing, as I say, some people get it all
unlike my case when the God's printer was perhaps off for an overhaul !

The shopper's syndrome

When in a clothes store
u see numerous shelves
and find that for each design you choose
your size is not available
then that's what's called the shopper's syndrome

for if you stand out of your body
and observe that mysterious creature
you would find him going through the heaps of designs
to see if each of them contains his own size
and if one is unavailable for his own
then subconsciously for him, that was the one he wouldn't have missed otherwise !

This social set up is flawed ! huh...

She started dating someone else when I could not speak to her when she sat before me on my table in the office canteen, leaving about 50 vacant tables around. Hell...if only I had spoken to her that day. 'The R-Factor' is happily married now.

I have got to find some explanation for all these tragedies to preserve my sanity (You wish I had prefixed that with -in ! Yeah ? Hold that pal. The Indian constitutions doesn't explicitly grant you the right to freedom of wish. And this wish of yours goes as far as to infringe upon my self respect. I could sue you for that in the court of justice to realise my right to constitutional remedies !) . Huh...Perhaps the printer was out of order or the toner ran out of ink when it was my turn to receive the paper of luck. And he dispatched me to earth with a blank sheet in hand. Sure da...do I have a choice against you!

But given a choice against this syndicate of humans who have formed a nonsensical social set up, I would make it a democracy. You should have a chance of voting your incumbent parents out of power when you are dissatisfied with the way you are being reared or when they start ignoring your teenage hu-'man' rights (!!!) ! Democracy and regular elections would not only give them an incentive to rear you better but would also let you elect the likes of Akshay Kumar for dad when you reach your teens so that you can learn the 101 ways of, you know, well...at least ask that gorgeous 'R-factor' out.

Eh...that argumentative Indian in me !

Know thy self

Destiny is the child of competency and capacity...

The better your competency and capacity complement each other, the more beautiful the child !

-- Sodium

CATastrophic moments

"Abe tu ullu ka patthha hai kya ?" prom pinged me on Gtalk.
"Kyun maine kya kiya jo gaali de raha hai?" I replied wryly.
"abe gali nahi yaar...puch raha hun" He immediately went into damage control mode.
"hahaha...kya tarika hai poochne ka !" I didn't make his life easy.
"yaar confusion mein hun isliye…" replied an embarrassed Prom.

Prom and I had known each other for just 3 days now and here he was, asking me such a question matter of factly.

I had logged onto the T.I.M.E. chat forum for CAT 2007 with a different name this time. 'Ullu ka Patthha' instead of my usual name 'Sodium'. And he had realized it within minutes, by seeing my scores and by the secrets of him that I had started spilling there. He was goaded into catching me privately on gtalk when I innocently asked him what had happened to 'crab' (F) he was talking to, the previous day, just when he started taking chances on Neha.
Poor Prom !

That was three days after CAT happened. We settled scores on gtalk and went back to the T.I.M.E. chat forum. Prez was telling Neha that with her scores she could safely expect 2-3 IIM calls and that she should start preparing for GD/PI. Man! I was awestruck by his amazing cognitive abilities because just about 10 minutes back he was asking Prom and me in desperation about his chances of getting a call. And guess what! The difference between his and Neha's scores was just 1 mark. So here he was, now prophesizing to the girls about their chances of making it. This world is a big chess board I tell you and every pawn is trying to con the other to its ends.

By the way, Prom's full name was Prometheus Unbound. We 'lovingly' called him Prom. And soon we had shared secrets, pertaining to our girlfriends you see. So what if I don't really have a girlfriend. How would he know online if I tell him I am a hunk, always surrounded by cool chicks!

I went for a tea and when I returned, Prom had gone. It would be known later that his boss had been standing behind him for about one and a half minutes while he had zeroed in on catty who had just logged in and wanted to know if it would be a sin to expect a NITIE call without a work-ex. Yeah, it was noon time and we were all in office making the most of our employment benefits. Poor Prom! I thought again.

Anyways, I resumed my chat with Ruthless. He was another geek scoring 136 and worrying if he would be able to secure an IIM A call. Gee, everybody has his own worries. Here we were, willing to flirt even a black hole to secure a single IIM call and there he was, worrying over IIM Ahamedabad. Ruthless assured me that at my scores, I could keep my fingers crossed for a couple of calls from the 'lower' IIMs.
A truck ran over my feelings trampling my most cherished dreams. Immediately afterwards, Ruthless logged out. It was a clear cut case of hit and run. Somebody forward him that mail which taught the reader never to scoff at other's possessions, for that could be all they had.

Prometheus Rebound logged in.

"Hey! Prometheus REBOUND!" I exclaimed. "Is that you my dear Prom"

"Haan sodium, main hi hoon" reminded me of that dialogue Amir Khan speaks to Kajol in Fanna, "haan Ruhana, main hi hoon"

"Hey, how do I believe you?" I started using logic.
"Remember Priya, Sodium? Yesterday?"
"Eh…!" And all my logical abilities were put to rest. The chat room was full of current opportunities and too much was at stake to show over smartness at this moment.

"My dear Prom, I love you!" and the matter was put to rest.

He would sometimes log in as Prometheus Unbound and sometimes as Prometheus Rebound. I tried to spot a pattern but was promptly reminded of my handicap when Catty asked me on the forum regarding my percentile last year in Logical Reasoning. I gave up. He still comes sometimes as Unbound and sometimes as Rebound.

"Prom, you read the previous few lines. Ruthless told me I stand a chance in the 'lower' IIMs"

Prom burst out laughing. My feelings were mercilessly trampled again. This is a mean world. My IIM was a lower IIM !

"Hey all! Can anyone tell me what are my chances of getting a call with QA 38, DI 52, VA 34" someone had logged on by the name of Anjali.

"Hey hiiiii Anjali!!! Congrats, you are getting 7 calls. Start preparing for GD/PI" the message took some time to display as Prom and I had hit the jackpot at the same time.

The enlightened soul..

Oh I love this lil brother of mine! In fact even more than love, it's the respect and admiration for a few of his qualities that now serve as an inspiration for me.

I first visited him the day he was born, a tiny baby. Unfortunately, he was mentally retarded by birth. But I realize now, after my first hand experience with this little enlightened creature, that mentally retarded are often gifted with other virtues and insights into the philosophy of life.

Years passed and the next time I saw him was when he visited our home with his parents, when he was about 7 years old. The first time I experienced his philosophy in that young age was when his mummy interrupted our game to put on the shoes on his feet because it was getting cold in the evening. The game was interrupted and his mummy was also talking to my mummy while putting his shoes on. In her conversation, she took a bit more time than usual to put the shoes on and pat came the scolding from this little busy bee to his mummy...

'Aloo Patthhi !'

'What was it ?' we asked his mummy as she immediately halted her conversation and put shoes on his feet first so that he could go back to his game.

'He just called me pupil of an owl. He can't pronounce it well. This is what he says. I don't know who taught it to him but I am unable to stop him from saying that whenever he is dissatisfied with something.' She told us.

'Wow !!' I exclaimed to my lil sister. Now that's what you call attitude. She agreed.
After all it had been our long time desire to be able to accomplish something like that, but you see...out of 'respect' we could never. That that respect was wrenched from us by brandishing the sticks is a different matter.

Years passed again and we kept in touch with them through letters and lately through phone. The incidents continued pouring in and my respect for him grew. Sometimes these were at school, sometimes at home and sometimes in other situations.

And what impelled me to write this on my blog was something that he finished just a week ago. He is now about 15 years old.

His mummy arranged a home tutor for him as he was not performing well at school. One day, the teacher asked him to prepare for a test the next day. His mummy told us that he worked hard that day. He prepared that day for the test. And wrote the test the next day. When he had finished, the teacher checked it. Chhotu had performed about average and the teacher gave him 9 out of 20. Chhotu then asked the teacher to give him a 'Good'. The teacher refused. Teacher said that the performance was not up to the mark. Chhotu requested again. The teacher told him that he didn't deserve a 'Good' in this test. Now this was enough for this lil enlightened soul. He worked hard the whole day and here the teacher told him that his hard work didn't deserve a 'Good'!

Chataaaaaaak ! Chhotu immediately dispatched a right hander to the teacher's left cheek. Now that's what such insensitive teachers really deserve.

If any of you has experienced a mentally retarded kid then you know when they do such things, they do them with full force and surprisingly, their full force is more than that of their normal counterparts. I could imagine the impact of that slap. The teacher left the job.

How many of us go to the school, tuitions and college and keep our day to day grudges with our teachers and professors deep within our heart and later pass out with a heavy heart. Remember how we feel then when later in our life we meet one such professor who didn't spare a single ordeal to us and we could do nothing about that. This...precisely this...is what I respect the most about chhotu. He doesn't carry load with his heart. He balances score when the game is on and at night sleeps with a clear conscience.

Last night, after hearing this, when I went to bed, my conscience was even heavier than usual, for not just the load of unfinished businesses but the load of a flawed philosophy and cowardice bugged me. Never change my dear chhotu. Perhaps you don't know what kind of life you are inspiring us all for!

Conversations with a sinner...

Sodium: dada

bipul is online.

bipul: haan dadaaa

ki haal hai

Sodium: mast

tum bolo

bipul: yupp..me tooo :D

Sodium: :)

kahan ho

bipul: office main..

Sodium: oh

workaholic dada?

bipul: kaal raat ko daru mara...pura din kaam kar nehi paay..aab kaam karna pad raha hai

:D

Sodium: :D

meri aaj daaru hai

bipul: alcoholic dada

good good

Sodium: hahaha :)

dada

CAT se 25 din pehle daaru pi raha hoon...paap to nahin chadhega?

bipul: aare nehui nehi....keep both the things in different vector space :D

Sodium: :D

u r a ray of hope in this sinful world :)

bipul: ha ha ha...

I always hope never expect :P

Sodium: :P

ray of expactation

bipul: yaa..thatz hope...like photons and light

Sodium: hmm

so this ray is composed of hope

and hope can be broken into further elementary particles...hard work, attitude, and passion

analogous to neutron, protons and electrons

bipul: ha ha ha...definitely :D

but expectation cant be broken into particles..since itself is a particle

Sodium: i m trying to find an analogy for them

for expectation

bipul: hmm

Sodium: coz expectation is hopeless

bipul: yaaa

it is...

expecattions never create hope...hope create expectation..as I guess

Sodium: but if according to rutherford...everything is made up of hope

then how can expectation exist

without hope

that means bu contradiction...expectation has some hope in it

by*

bipul: it does not exist..actaully its objective..not as subjective as hope

Sodium: ohh

so its like energy

it exists but is intangible

bipul: expection is much about realistic...hope is much about idealistic

again...expection is practical..hope is theory. And theory always build practical :P

Sodium: oye

practical builds theory

bipul: so...rather have the theory and then think of practical

in some cases..ptractical build theory...but in many cases..not

Sodium: ahh...

hence we can conclude...some hopes are made up of expectations ... and some expectations are made up of hope

bipul: galilio never saw earth rortate around the sun...but the theory proved it

i dnt knw that is galilio or some1 else

Sodium: yeah. so true

bipul: similar to hope and expectation

Sodium: how does it matter if it was gallilio or my grandpa

bipul: yuppp

never matters at all

Sodium: when hopes and expectations converge... it leads to eternal happiness

bipul: probabvly..

theory converges with practical...thatz the success

Sodium: rather it has the potential of leading to eternal happiness

bipul: yupp

thats why we do some lab experiemnts to prove theory in practical

when they match we get fulll marks in lab test :P

Sodium: thats just fooling ourselves dada....I paid my lab assistent 20 rupees to know which compound I had

so if u have 20 rupees...u can converge theory with practical

bipul: yess...so if u can lick the paper..u can converge ur hope and expectation off CAT :D

Sodium: hmmm

bipul: there must be some external force ..else 2nd law of thermoD will fail..

Sodium: my external force is the motivation I get when I see frnd requests from girls on the profiles of my frnds from IIM A

frnds who we unknown obscure faces at engg college

bipul: ha ha ha.....people get only one girl to settle down.....so it hardly matters if the girl wants IIMA or BSC grad....Its all about how u will be with the girl and she will be wid u :D

Sodium: ahh

kaash dada

bipul: kaash dada

Sodium: :)

bipul: BSC grads are also getting good girls in their life

and their lives are also happy

Sodium: they are getting even the girls of IIM A grads too finally when those grads are too busy to look at home

they shd be happier infact

bipul: yess..

we will never be happy...even u go to harvard

Sodium: That, dada, is my nemesis

bipul: itz just momentary that a girl wants a A grad

before and after that moment...things are different

Sodium: Thats her way of claiming a coveted degree

once her convocation is over...u r done with

bipul: and its just a moment....whole life will not be revolving wrnd that grad A

yess..

Sodium: yep

bipul: just a moment..

Sodium: u keep the degree in some cupboard

bipul: hmm...finlly its u who matters

Sodium: we complete a full circle here dada

u r a ray of hope in this sinful world :)

A paranoid's night-out...

Now what the hell...I live in a 10 x 10 feet room and that is enough to make things difficult for me. I have to think twice before adding anything new to my accessories. The room ends barely after it begins. As Circuit put it when shifting the luggage of Munnabhai in the medical college "Udee saala ! Bhai yeh room to shuru hote hi khatam ho gaya!"

And as if there was still a room for someone else too...here I have my new guest who perhaps hopes to put up with me in my small room. How many of you would like to welcome a new guest at 2 a.m. in the morning when you are just about to switch off the lights to go to bed!
I was just about to do that.

Life of bachelorhood is a period of trial if that after it is of serving a sentence. Both make you feel miserable.

Anyways...I have confined the new guest in the cupboard and it should not have a way out till morning when I open the cupboard. The only worry is what if it doesn't find enough oxygen for itself in the cupboard to last for the night. That would add further to my miseries. At the moment I can hear the sound of it cutting against the closed cupboard door. Or who knows if its the cover of my B.Tech. degree!

I don't know if I'll be able to catch a good night's sleep now. Plan to go to the market at 9'o clock to buy a mouse trap first thing in the morning. Perhaps it would be in by the time I return from office tomorrow evening.

And hey wait...whaaa...whoz this...awwww...Here is a lizard trying to climb onto my bed from my laptop woofers by my bed side !!!!! It sees plenty of food fluttering by the light of my laptop screen!

Any more guests in the queue tonight??!!! What the hell has happened! Is it some special night or was I just blissfully unaware of all the events going in my room from last one and a half year!

No !! You keep your mouth shut !

A heretic's confession...

What is CAT but a delusion of Indians with the perceived grandeur of their mental prowess!

What do the CAT 'bellers' gain but a few material assets, whose significance lies in their individual perceived notions of achievement, a delusive spiritual advantage over their brethrens, and a pretty bum for a girlfriend determined to be their wife! The last one is of course a gain whose danger doesn’t depend on individual perceived notions but is a fact as plain as the rising of sun in the east, democracy of the west and spitting of Indians on the roads!

Who does CAT appeal to but only masses that are an arrangement of bones and flesh driven by herd behavior and without something as a sense of want and want not!

Where does it lead them to but a land of fanatics for two years and forever!

What does it produce for an end product but the likes of the sub prime mortgage crisis!

Buddhha mil gaya...

“How long have you been doing it?” He asked me a week back on his first day.

“Four years now.” I said then.

“Have you done it in your young age uncle?” I asked him with appreciation today.

He had been coming to our gym from last one week and was more than 70 years old. Though he had a protruding belly now but for his age he had an amazing stamina. He did all sort of exercises. And that’s what told me he must have been a veteran in the field. Those old people who sometimes come to gym do the regular fitness exercises, not the butterfly for that middle and side cuts of chest, not the front and back pulley for wings, not abs in their 70’s.

“Young man, when I was your age I was an amateur boxer and a body builder.”

“Wow!” That’s exactly what I had hoped from him.

“So what have you done Uncle?”

My question was not that weird but he gave me a blank look for a moment. I couldn’t make it why. I don’t know what he thought of me.

“I am a civil engineer.”

“I retired as the chairman of CPWD. Many of the bridges that you see in India have been built under my supervision. I have been head of several committees to set syllabus of civil engineering courses in various universities. Till recently I was the project leader of Mayur Vihar extension of the DND flyway when I developed some health problems and had to quit active working. Now I am consultant to various government bodies.” He told me over the next few minutes in several breaks between our next exercises.

“My God.” “You are quite an achiever Uncle. Why do they keep you working even so many years after retirement.” I had stopped doing the Squats now.

“You know there is a dearth of experienced professionals in government projects.”

“Yeah.”

But something had started bugging me. This man is 70+ years old and is a civil engineer. How many universities in India gave a civil engineering degree back then.

“Where did you do your graduation from Uncle?”

The expressions on his face suddenly became nostalgic. You could see that sense of belonging of his to his alma mater when he thought of his moments of graduation after so long. Perhaps no body had asked him this question for a very long time. Perhaps a dust had accumulated over all those memories of his young years. Perhaps their place had been usurped by the realities of a practical world in all those years.

“I did it from the erstwhile University of Roorkee, now the Indian Institute of Technology, Roorkee. 1964 batch.” said the voice brimming with proud, respect and pleasure at the recollection of old memories. A smile on his face. Eyes looking into the past.

Time is an endless phenomenon I tell you. Years pass by. People come and go. Young become old. Generations change. But some things stay. Some things see everything else going by. Some things make lives.

40 batches had graduated since then. What I was thinking of was the 41st batch. He went on saying many other things.

The paths would not be the same. But I was staring at my future in a way.

Mera US...err Bharat Mahan !!!

We shout that rhetoric about 'Great India', 'India Shining', 'Mera Bharat Mahan', 'The great Indian Culture', 'The great Indian Legacy', 'Argumentative Indian' (and while saying so projecting Indians as having an inherently logical bent of mind and basing the reason of sustained democracy on this) , etc., yet most of us today want to emulate Americans. Why?

Perhaps rightly so. For the most prized virtues of humans. A free life, a liberal and tolerant society, for the largely unpretentious way of life of theirs, innovative and independent thinking and what not. You name an area of human behaviour where Indian are doing better than them today.

One problem, then, is with the rhetoric about priding ourselves on our false sense of greatness and morality. Patting ourselves on the age old legacy which can do nothing for us today. It's failing to even inspire us today. The problem is in deluding ourselves. And then, when I tried to brush this off by saying that the younger generation was being more practical about it, came the independence day and I was perplexed to see all those colorful handwritten slogans of Great India, Mera Bharat Mahan, and proud to be an Indian on big charts pasted everywhere in our office. And the people writing them were our young generation...the more practical one. I wondered if any of them ever gave it a serious thought that what exactly is it today that is an evidence of India being great? True I am born an Indian and I do love my country. But that for emotional reasons. My family is here. My sweetest childhood memories are associated with this land, with all those pit covered roads, and rural dust. I learned what life is in this country and from its point of view. My love is precisely because of this. But otherwise, for a moment, disregarding the emotional attachments and on any logical grounds, I flounder to find even a handful of good reasons for considering India a great country in today's perspective.

1. Look at our farmers committing suicides and what everyone is doing about it? What the ancient great India can do about it today?

Our governments are setting up panels to propose remedies only to be ill implemented either in the lack of funds or the lack of will or because of rampant corruption. And what are we doing? You and I? Cursing the government? Why don't we join some NGO and try to do something about it the way Arvind Kejriwal did for RTI ? He was just like you and I, an IIT engineer, not a tailor cut-out by birth for social causes and politics.

Then the noninclusive growth. What great is he who is content to see one of its hands starving and paralyzing while the other hand grows stronger. How powerful such an asymmetric person can be in crucial times is any body's guess. Those who have studied the growth of Japan, South Korea, Singapore and the likes would most obviously see the differences between their and India's path.

2. Look at the state of education in our country? and then look at the way we are trying to make it better...the reservations instead of emphasizing on primary education.

3. Look at the booming IT industry of India. Now that's one area which makes every Indian proud today..right? But not the people who reject anything based on mass opinion until it's logical to them. I'll tell u a model of mine to facilitate seeing the kind of work we are bringing from all over the world to our IT companies in proper perspective.

US is a rich household whose members work in big and quality firms and do quality work. When I say quality I mean some work which appeals to the unique human capability, it's brain. And when this household goes about its daily chores, it produces some waste, some garbage, some dirty dishes to be cleaned, some dirty floors. Here's where India comes in. We go knocking their door and offering to clean-up their mess, washing their dishes, sweeping their floors for much smaller amount than the person in their own area would ask for. What else would they have wanted ! They are in. When they earn 35000 a month and buy their child a laptop, an N73, a Skoda, we take home Rs. 1000 and buy our child a balloon, a Nokia1100, and a second hand Maruti 800. And despite this we happen to be better off than most of those living in our colony who are using their old bicycles and who were not fortunate enough to beg a work in the US households. That's the quality of work we do and that's the comparative amount we get paid for this. And then slowly when traders everywhere begin to see us being able to buy all those second hand Maruti 800s and Nokia 1100, they begin to see our rising prosperity (??), they hike the prices of everything for us too (read inflation and currency appreciation) and then we can not even buy a Maruti 800 because our wage remains the same (Why? If we ask for a higher wage they would be happy to kick us out altogether and bring someone by the name of Okawa Hounsos, an African, to do the same).

4. Look at the way our intellectuals are hostages to their language and everything associated with them. Of course I agree it's good to try to pick up everything good but then first for God sake we must accept our own weaknesses. We must drop this rhetoric about our sacred relationships when we know in the corners of our minds that a DPS MMS scandel is going on in every college and every senior school these days in all cities, big or small. The difference is just that these children are sensible enough not to send that MMS to their friends. I repeatedly write in my posts the use of English language between even the spouses in as private places as one's bedroom. Now this is something that need not be emulated. Whereas English is a great language, it by no means is a better way of attaining a better standard of living, or an even higher intellectual level or whatever such people might think it capable of doing for them than our Hindi is.

5. And then look at the extent to which we go copying them in their language. Our version of christ is our own God. Right? but look at so many of us saying 'For Christ sake' whenever we get chance. For God sake pal, you worship a God every morning. Use your mind a bit. Another one in this category is the word 'Christened'. In various news columns and from many people I hear the sentence like 'XYZ was christened as ABC'. Now what the mindless thing to say for us Indians that is. Their ceremony to name a child involves inducing it to Christianity from that day on. In our case a child belongs to its dad's religion from the day it is born. As with Western society, in India too the same applies to non living objects too. Whereas a Robotic Arm Software might have been christened as RoboArm by students at MIT, it would be named as RoboArm at IIT, how can you christen it if it belongs to the religion of the majority of Indians. But that would have been thought by us, had we applied our 'Argumentative Indian' philosophy to this sentence too. But who does. The Americans use it. I watched it in the latest hollywood blockbuster. It sounds urbane. Hats off to ya pal ! I bow to us INDIANS. India is great.

I am young...till today becomes yesterday

To wayward minds like mine...act before it's too late..

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

-- From Baz Luhrmann Lyrics - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Predicaments of a loser

'Sir tomorrow onwards I would give you a missed call 5 minutes before I am about to reach here. If you are coming then it's okay else you give me a missed call back' Said Guddu, the driver of my office cab as I got into the cab, late by 5 minutes. Mine was the first pick-up.
'Yeah. Sure' I said and grunted to myself. 'How would he know' I convinced myself.

'Arre yaar, your pick-up is before mine. Please give me a missed call when you are about to reach here'
'Yeah sure Anjali' Anything for you. I didn't say the second line as I watched her with admiration get into the cab. That she was expected to know this didn't occur to me mesmerized by her rare-engineer-beauty which had permanently reserved my dreams for itself.

'And yeah Sunita, give me a missed call when you go for lunch. I'll come with you' I overheard the receptionist with bob-cut hair say to her friend over the company phone as I passed the reception desk on my way to my shared cubicle meant for one, occupied by two. Cost cutting you see. Rupee is appreciating.

But the receptionist was supposed to know. It’s her job to speak. And by the way everything of her tells me that she is going to take part in next year's Ms. India contest. These are the basics.

'Hi dada' A chat window was flashing in the status bar of my desktop showing a message from my sweetheart of one year who was with me in my previous project. No ideas you dirty mind! I am still single and looking. His name is Ravi. Ravi Agarwal.
'Hi dada. Kaise ho' I replied.
'Wah dada. Late again'
'Yeah. So many mummies in our cab. Got delayed'
'Hehehe dada. When you are free, just missed call me. I have to discuss something with you'
'Yeah dada' Tum bhi !

'Hi Bhai. Why did you pick up the phone. I don't have balance. YOU are expected to call me. I was just giving you a missed call'
'Ao okay. You put it down. I would call you' I apologized to my sister as I looked at my phone in desperation. Yeh Bhi !

That's 'Missed Call'
a noun
a verb
and who on earth says it's an adjective phrase!

Loser!
I wrote under my name on a paper pinned to my cubicle wall.

Rogue uncertainties...Thou perishes; Remains thee

Eternity of the universe stretches far beyond the human contemplation. The light that we just received from that faraway star began from it about a million years ago. It was for the dinosaurs. Unfortunately they couldn't last to receive it. So we received it today on their behalf. But wait! If we could communicate with our sender by, may be a mobile phone, it would have perplexed our sender that this streak of light is not the same color as he sent for us. Why? Ah yes. The sender is receding from us. Distances are increasing. Wavelengths are changing. Things are going away from things. Universe is expanding.

Expanding! But where?

Volume encloses volume. Did we just say that its volume is increasing? But what's volume is it occupying? Is there a space outside the universe? Where is it expanding into? What's outside it? And what’s outside the volume that’s outside it. Where does the hierarchy end? You thought you knew the definition of space? So tell me what is the nature of space this whole thing occupies?

And did it appear suddenly out of something? Who created elements that constitute it? Nitrogen, phosphorus, carbon? Did God? Out of what? What did he have with him to create all the elements? And who supplied him with those things. He conjured these? Also who created God to enable creation of elements? There must have been something behind God. Such a mystic power that could conjure material out of immaterial must have been thought of well in its design phase before its actual manufacture. What?? he appeared out of nowhere? Hmm. So he appeared suddenly. And he appeared into some enclosing space. And that space was here before the God. Then what is that space? What's its nature?

Everything is material in this world. Money, comfort, luxury, everything. And so is a Stone. Clay. Water. Stars. All are material. One day this game will finish. we would die. Everybody would die. God will kill himself. Everything would come to an end. Will the universe remain? will it? We won't be there. God won't be there. But a deserted universe. The ever expanding. What into? And what for? Whom for? Does life have another dimension? Human life has vanished. God's life has ceased existing. But he once created a universe. THAT is living. Fattening. What is a stone then? Some thing that outlived us and God! So it lived? Is it up higher in the hierarchy than the God then? because God has died. But the stones remain. Receding away from each other.

Ah. Maybe stones are not above God after all. So God destroyed stones and the universe before he killed himself. The universe suddenly disappeared. God remained for a while. But what into? What is the thing that enclosed God for that while. And then God killed himself. For as long as he remained he needed that space to contain him. And when he killed himself, of course he wasn't there to destroy that thing which contained him. So something outlived God then? In that case its above God in the hierarchy! So what’s this thing then? That’s what is more important. And what encloses this thing? Wait. This thing that contains God might be vacuum. Vacuum? Vacuum existed before God suddenly appeared. And vacuum remained after God died.

But if at first it was vacuum and suddenly God appeared. Did it happen by magic? Magic? But magic is a mysterious power possessed by some thing that exists. What existed to do that magic of sudden appearance of God? There wasn't a single thing there in vacuum. What lobbied with what to create God.

And then what’s a vacuum? Isn't vacuum contained in a space? A space with nothing inside?

Where is your undergarment...?!!

So you read the previous post of mine below this one..eh. And you think you have a pretty good idea of what a sample I should be. Right you may be. But come on man. The displays of my gems were at least not as dazzling as those our physics teacher, the much revered (???) Mr. Gera, flashed that day in the midst of our Maths class! Yeah...the same Mr. Gera whom we all were so jealous of, for he had that distinguished luck of having two additional sister-in-laws in his home over and above a personal wife of his.

"Wow! Such a lucky man" remarked Gautam, who joined with me new in class 12th in the DPS.

I always write DPS for Deewan Public School. That gives me some pseudo satisfaction of having studied at a DPS at some point in my school life. And then, recently due to the much envied MMS scandal, DPS has acquired that cult image among all us youngsters. By the way Gautam and I were seat mates for the entire last year of our school. A dashing dude he was. Crush of girls. Envy of mine. He had all those junior cukoos of our school in his colony whose profile I still sometimes visit on orkut. He was after all from a military family. All those military people have such pretty daughters. I sometimes think I would be able to ask someone out, someday. Gautam knew all those bad things I considered would spoil your future career. Coz you know bad guys do badly in studies. And as my mother sang to me when I was even smaller 'Padhoge likhoge banoge nawab, gandi baatein karoge to hoge kharab.' So I was a good guy. Though what I have become today is a different matter altogether. And that I was largely and more importantly correctly perceived as a moron was far from my awareness.

And when Kargil war happened the fund collection effort picked up in our DPS too. Vinod sir started calling people by roll numbers and the people would come and pull a hundred rupee or fifty rupee note, all of them.

"Whoops...what do all their dads do! They all sure make good dough." I said.

Their khoon pasina must be very efficiently convertible to currency notes.
I brainwashed Gautam throughout the 41 roll numbers that came before us that since our dads had already given a day's salary to Kargil effort we would give only 5 rupees.

"You see, we don't even earn yet!" I explained. Gautam's eyes glistened with admiration.

"Roll number 42" called Vinod IAS.

Yeah he was an IAS, for he was practically Invisible After Sunset. And we all feared the black. But that was much before the Pulsar 180 hit the streets. May be one of my classmates' dad later switched over to Bajaj Auto Ltd.

And so Gautam marched to the front of the class to the class teacher's desk and offered a 5 rupee note for contribution.

Potato curry to someone expecting chicken for dinner.

I admired him now for more than his looks.

"Katora le ke bahar sadak pe khada ho ja!" growled Vinod IAS with an unbelievable saturnine face.

The class burst into a laughter. Yeah I too giggled, for his face was flushed blood red and the idiot was looking at me accusingly. I had just suggested pal. It was all your decision. My eyes conveyed. He immediately pulled out a fifty rupee note and put that on the table. And my heart sank. What the hell. Now I would also have to give a fifty.

"Roll number 43" came the roar.

So here tottered the comrade with sunken spirits, for his dad was the 'Ek akela insaan jo subah se shaam tak..khoon pasina ek karke ghar mein kuch kama ke laata hai aur tum....', as my mother used to tell me whenever I did some loss because of my stupidities, and here I was going to throw away another of a fifty out of the family bowl when that 'Ek akela insaan jo khoon pasina ek karke kama ke laata hai' had already paid a day's salary for the effort. No. I can't do that to my dad. All that khoon and pasina, that somehow mixed daily and got stored somewhere to convert into green colored thick currency notes at the end of every month, flashed before my eyes in that short journey from my seat to the class teacher's desk. Sometimes that Khoon Pasina mixture did not convert itself into currency notes on time and we would have to be extra frugal until it got converted which sometimes would not be until the end of next month and in very rare cases until the end of next to next month. No. I can't do this. My embarrassment would be my contribution to the family earnings. And with my new found confidence I offered a 20 rupee note to Vinod IAS.

Thud! Went the final nail into the coffin. Hammered by roll number 43. His expressions were like those of an Indian soldier who had fired at a Pakistani soldier in the Siachen glacier only to find the rifle empty because a class 12th student in DPS had not paid a full fifty rupees towards the Kargil effort. But the impact was lighter this time. Gautam had taken the initial and stronger blow. The Soldier was already half expecting an empty gun. Besides his favorite student I was, for I got a 95 in the first term exam just 5 days after joining the school. Gautam, Mayank and all other cursed me for what I had done. They all had to bear all that flak from Vinod IAS before their mothers in the PTM after the exams. No excuses worked for them this time. They could not explain how I 'Garib' (As Vinod IAS would refer to me who had been deprived of his blessings so far) who had not got Vinod IAS's guidance at all had still scored a 95 even as they all had had his full guidance throughout. The reason we all soon found out though. My score never crossed an 80 in Maths after his valuable guidance bore its fruits on me for the next two terms.

"Tu bhi!" was all he said.

But I had taken off for my seat in that brief moment while the nail was going into the coffin and the soldier was gazing at his empty rifle.

"Whoa...mumma...I saved a whole 30 rupees today."

And this exercise had barely finished when Mr. Gera, that lucky man with two sisters-in-law in his home and with a personal wife, and with a threatening face with a funny mustache on it, and whose home all my class mates visited, strode into the class room. Fat man he was. Built for comfort than for speed. A sly smile on his face. As that I had on my face when I pulled the stool off from below my mumma when she was washing dishes on the kitchen floor. I was 11 years old and very narrowly escaped that slipper thrashing afterwards, thanks to my Nani's intervention. I got only a sweet homily. So Mr. Gera, with two sisters-in-law at home and a personal wife, a saturnine face and a sly smile below his funny mustache, asked loudly

"Which girl has lost her undergarment in the assembly ground this morning?"

Eeeeeerie silence. You could hear the sound as a pin traveled through the air during its fall from your hand to the ground. The noise it made after it fell on the floor would be deafening. Yeah my vocab was pathetic. But still. How could a girl have lost her undergarment in the assembly ground in the morning! I understood the meaning of all the words in this sentence and was not confusing a blazer with a brassier this time. And I was correct, for the entire class looked as if a news of another post of Siachen having been occupied by Pakistan had broken despite all our 50 rupee notes and a 20 rupee note of mine having been sent to the border so that our troops could get all our posts back.

Pakistan fired one more grenade. Mr. Gera repeated his question with that confident and sly smile. I still wonder if all the girls did check their undergarments if they had not been lost in the assembly ground that morning, Mr. Gera's visage was so calm and composed that I would definitely have checked mine had the question been for boys rather than Girls. But they must have checked, for no girl came up even after a few seconds of funereal silence..the pin travel silence. Or else how would they all have been so confident! Vinod IAS had long forgotten the 5 rupee and 20 rupee shock by now.

Finally the fog cleared over the Siachen border. The Pakistani general showed up from behind the newly occupied post of Siachen. Mr. Gera now with his sly smile slightly annoyed beneth his funny mustache, flashed a gold chain dangling tentatively from the end of his middle finger.

"This chain has been found in the assembly ground a few minutes back"

wurr woo.. uhoo uhoo.. uhhhhooo...!! Mayank, who had been eating his tiffin from last few minutes with his head bowed down on the back seat of mine, spat in shock the food in his mouth on the floor.

...a chain for an undergarment !

'...isey laga daala.. to life jhingalaala' !! The TATA sky campaign had not been conceived by then and I am sure as hell, the ad company would have sold this punch line to this undergarment manufacturing company had there been a contract between the two.

But my knowledge of human anatomy must be real weak man! Some one tell me now which girl wears a gold chain for an undergarment!

But before I could pose my question to the have-answers-for-everything-bad Gautam whose face had now become white from an earlier flushed blood red, an exasperated Vinod IAS with a wry face told Mr. Gera

"Gera Sir...isse Ornament kehte hain...Undergarment nahin!"

Ahh...those were the days!

"Okay..Please frame a sentence on 'Capital Punishment'"
And she asked one hand among the many to stand up and speak.

"The cricket players are often given capital punishment for misbehavior with other players and umpires during the match" said the B.Tech. Mechanical Engineering First Year student with proud.

"whooops...I guess that would be a rather strict punishment for this offence" Said an amused Ms. Gaur, our communications teacher.

Shitttt !! I had shone my gem again. Derived the meaning of an idiom from the literal meaning of its components!
But perhaps it wasn't as bad as when I told that day, regretfully, to one of my batch mates in the first year hostel that my 'Vulcubatory' was weak. "Indeed your 'Vocabulary' is rather pathetic pal", said an amused abhishek too. But how he knew! I wondered.

And then there is the classic I have never dared mention to anybody. My first month in an english medium school after studying in a hindi medium school up to class 6th. Late admission I was because of the timing of the transfer of my dad. Winters came and the annual circular came to all the classes. Our beloved class teacher V.P.Singh (alias Videshi Pilla for the initials V.P.) signed the circular register and announced:

"Everybody has to wear blazer from 15th of this month."

Whattt! Had he gone crazy, asked a bewildered I to my bench mate in a hushed voice after the initial impact settled down.

"Why! Whats wrong?"
"You are asking me whats wrong! Can't you just see whats wrong!"

After 2 minutes of bewildered exchange of words from both sides, realizing what I was confusing it with, Maninder explained to me that 'Blazer' and 'Brassier' are two different things!

Ah..if that's the case then it's okay. I would feel more confident in a blazer than in a...err..

Bye Bye President Kalam

So many titles given to Dr. Kalam by the people and by the media. Does he really deserve all the titles that have been bestowed upon him !

A look into what is rightfully his and what's not. Based on the facts.

Chacha Kalam: A title given to the outgoing president by the media in the last week of his office truly symbolizes the eulogy thrust upon the person media hypes for its own TRPs. I never heard of reports where people on their own called him Chacha Kalam. Did we miss something! Was it the media which likened his emphasis on making the children of today into the achievers of tomorrow to Pt. Nehru's popular love for the children!

Rocket Scientist: In fact Dr. Kalam is an aeronautical engineer. He has been a scientific manager. We usually speak loudly what we want to hear.

People's President: Now this one is the one I agree with. Whatever the reason. His credentials, his disinclination from politics, his egalitarianism, his appeal to the masses as an ascetic or something else, he has undoubtedly been loved by the country. He, accompanied by former Uttaranchal CM N D Tiwari, came to the convocation function of my institute when I was in third year. And I remember our entire hostel standing on the hostel wall and the 3rd floor corridors to catch a glimpse of him (which we couldn't) through the dark window panes of his car. On the other hand when in the next car CM N D Tiwari waved his hand to us, to his embarrassment, we all pointed at him and laughed aloud. Such was the difference of stature. By shunning the presidential protocols at times Dr. Kalam struck a chord with the masses.

A great visionary: In this I agree with his critics that his vision is not a very practical one and the details have been phrased in a rather simplified manner in his books. This lack of practicality and depth of analysis of real time problems in achieving this dream of India 2020 doesn't suit the kind of great visionary and scientific stature we have thrust upon him.

A great Scientist: Now who do we call a great scientist? Has our definition of a great scientist become so narrow! With thousands of outstanding Ph.D.s across the world researching in science, the category of 'Great Scientist' suits at least those who win the Nobel prize when this prize is given in various fields of science every year ! At least those who truly innovate. Whereas his contributions to the Indian defense are enormous and highly appreciable in a climate of total incapability, I doubt if his accomplishments match the standards of a 'great' scientist.

But in the end, I credit him for his tremendous popularity and for his contribution to the nation as a president in the sense that he truly upped the ante of performance for the common man who so easily identified with him. It was because of this that people debated this time if Narayan Murthy should be our next President. He achievements exemplified and showed the masses that we can also think big. That dreaming and thinking big is the key to achieving success and greatness. Today many many more people believe in the possibility of a developed India by 2020 than could 5 years ago.

Hats off to you The People's President! We love you!

"the 'below post' for those whom I hate the most.."

One of the things I hate the most in the daily official mails is the use of the word 'below'.
Some gems from the mails in my office inbox:

1. "Today work on yesterday's issues as mentioned in below mail..."
2. "In the below figure I mention the problem I am facing..."
3. "Below solution doesn't work..."
4. "Please accommodate the below list of people to the Tuesday training session..."

Spicing up all this is the fact that while writing such sentences these people think that they are writing perfectly correct and, to my horror, even elegant English.

What made me cry my throat out was the fact that those people did NOT change their usage when I patiently explained two of them for an exclusive 5 minutes that 'below' is an adverb or a preposition rather than an adjective. The legends apparently convinced themselves that so many people can not be wrong. Where do YOU come from loser !!! Who the hell are you to teach us how to write official mails when we have been in the industry for n times the number of years than you have been !

Very well; I accept my defeat pal.

So why the hell do I freak out. That’s simple. In my usage of the language I mostly rely on my instinct whether the sentence SOUNDS and LOOKS correct or wrong. After reading this usage of 'below' almost DAILY for the last 2 years I fear that one day, somehow, I would subconsciously start finding it correct.. :( !!

Another of my sorrows is the use of verbs 'do' and 'does' by those legends. So many times I have fought my instinct to pull my hair off my head when I read the mails using, not to mention with all the styles of font and colors, -es with do (=does) for the plural subject !

1. The two approaches does not work here.

2. Satya do not want you to work on this project.

Their logic is simple. Singular goes with singular. Plural goes with plural. What's wrong with YOU you know-it-all SOB !

And I am silent sitting in front of my computer in a 3X3 cubicle clutching my hair. Hats off to ya sunshine !

And the list doesn't end here though. Start counting them in your inbox and there are as many of them as are the integral Pythagorean triplets in mathematics. I would better leave them for my daily morning dose than live though all those here once more :( !!

To those who talk in english even to their spouse or children in their very own and native hindi speaking regions

इंग्लिश काहे बोलता,
करे हिंदी भाई से बात !

भाषा रही विवादन की,
जो साक्षर है गुण बाँट !!

------------------------

English kaahe bolta,

Kare hindi bhai se baat !

Bhasha rahi vivadan ki,

Jo sakshar hai gur baant !!

-- Sodium

Implications of Inflation...Kabira reinvented !

काल मरे सो आज मर,

आज मरे सो अब..

,,लकडी महँगी होयेगी,

बहुरि मरेगो कब !!

I asked.. Musibat ri Musibat...kya tum mere saath ho !!...Musibat boli haan maalik koi rahe na rahe mein tumhara saath kabhi na chhorungi !!

इंडियन आईटी देख कर,

दिया सोडियम रोय...

फ़ालतू काम इंडस्ट्री में,

कैरियर दिया सब खोय

Jai AMC :)

This one is a hats off to my previous project team at office...the royal AMC :)

Ajgar kare na chakri
Panchhi kare na kaam...

Das maluka keh gaye
Sabke daata Ram !!

They say the CAT is easier than the JEE...haaye iss jindagi ki jung mein..

Humein to CAT ne maara...JEE mein kahan dum tha..
Apni to kashti bhi wahan doobi...jahan paani kamm tha !!

India meri jaannnnn...!!!

Whenever I wonder about the rain drops on my hands and the helmet windshield on a bright sunny day on my way to office or back home...


... I look up gratefully at the sons of my land who then happen to be driving the lorry beside me !!!

Vrrrooooooommm....!!!

No matter how fast you drive...there would always be a faster biker around !

Readein...and if you like it comment writein :))

Sonia Gandhi would not be our prime minister because she is born in a foreign land. But she at least speaks fluent Italian. And how do we explain the sons of our own land who flounder in speaking 10 consecutive sentences in hindi !!

A classic from Rajiv Gandhi's speeches in the doordarshan era

"chahe hum jeete ya loosein..."

Guess what Advani and family would have made of this opportunity today :)))

Girte hain shahasawar hee maidan-e-jung mein
Woh tifra kya gire jo ghutnon ke bal chale
..
..
..
(only those astride a horse, and not the crawlers, can fall).

Never say die...

Its so strange. There are things that we had always known but didn't care for until a moment came when we realized the importance of those things.

From a long time, I have wondered why everything is more competitive now. What was it that kept us from all this development for so long. Why the academics now becomes almost twice tougher in about a decade. And how children can always cope with their level of academics with the same general performance levels as shown by their counterparts a decade back. Why the percentage of failures in a grade doesn't increase with increase in the level of academics for a grade. Why its much more tough to get into a good university today than it was a generation ago and how still the highest score remains the same as was always.

And when I pondered over this, I realized that the true potential of a human is far more than has been realized even today. And thats precisely why the limits of our minds and capabilities are far from being achieved in a long long time to come. And thats where the base of that old adage lies: Stretch yourself, your mind, your abilities...the more you stretch yourself the better you get. And there is no need to worry about the harmful consequences of stretching ourselves for a long time yet because the limits are still invisible.

In this process of continuous learning when we stretch our horizons, we continually come across new things...things hitherto not thought, not realized. And then our life gets suddenly better and then we wonder why we did not realize this earlier ! We could have done much better.

In one such event, I realized something recently that I had been overlooking for years. People had time and again told me I should smile more often. I looked hot headed. Always thinking something. Always lost. Mostly tense. And I sometimes tried to get over it. But always failed, for people kept saying this to me. And then I brushed the entire issue aside concluding I was of my type. Perhaps it was my facial arrangement that gave me this look. Of course I knew I was mostly lost, tense and thinking of something but all my attempts to bring a perennial smile to my face failed. And I accepted my defeat.

I got over it. I learned to live with it. But then something happened. My moment came when I realized the toll it was taking on many things associated with me. And this time the realization was through another channel. Nothing about tense looks and all. But my studies were severely getting affected because I was under pressure. Peer pressure, pressure from the knowledge of my standing in the competition, and pressure from the expectations from the self. I was breaking and was getting into a doom very fast. I was seeing the way I was letting a chance go out of my grip. And I struggled for days and weeks and months. The time was really trying and even this continual introspection was dampening my spirits even more. And then the prized moment came. I pledged I would never let frown cross my face now. And the miracle happened. You know what I found out. The natural intersection of frown on your face and the smile on it is a null set. Of course you can force such a expression but I said natural intersection. And in my case natural was frown. So here I was now...determined not particularly to smile but never to let frown cross my face. And guess what...I discovered that not only the intersection of frown and smile is a null set but these two form a mutually exclusive and exhaustive set. So there you guessed. If not frown, the face carries a tinge of a smile most of the time. I discovered this to be true of human beings in general. And since that day the natural looks of almost everybody I met reinforced my belief in this. The determination of not letting a frown come to my face made me ever more happy, socially charming, cool headed and had a profound influence on my concentration on things I deemed important.

And all that amazement of mine regarding the way of general human development since my childhood came back to me. I thought once again why I hadn't thought of this before. Why I hadn't realized this before. Life could have been so much more beautiful !!!

Perhaps its simply that events take their own course in time. And sometimes we just have to live our role in this grand drama called LIFE.

Gems...

Bullshit can get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...

Not everybody who drops shit on you is your enemy...

And when you are in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

And you are there !!.

A LOGICAL SOLUTION.

Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem. From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And, B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.

A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bulls**t and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.